Diary of an Introvert 2

10: Changes

What's constant? It is change, itself. You'll meet people along the way. You'll get close to them and live this life with them for a decade but left alone. Now, even in friendship, I do not know if forever really exist.

I've been friends with Natalie since high school. We shared every ups and downs of our lives. Even in my make-believe life, she's my confidant. A part of what we call family. But as we dwell with life, changes can't be stopped.

I wanted to be alone, trying to fix my life on my own. She decided to keep her distance, thinking of giving me distance and space.

I thought this will just last a few days but those days became weeks and so on. 

We no longer spend much of our time together.

While I continuously finding myself, my purpose, and my strength to fight these battles within me, she found a new set of friends.

Painful? I'd say yes. I suddenly felt, I'm not needed.

And who's fault was it? I don't like blaming others so I'll just point at myself. It was me who locked herself again in her shell. It was me who started acting cold. It was me who wanted to be alone. 

She has the right to be with people who makes her feel happy. She has all the right to choose her own set of friends, even the path she'll take in her journey. She has every right to live her life the way she wanted to. I just hope that she'll extend her hand to me and say 'stay'.

Each day feels like a torture seeing and hearing her laugh with others. What should I do? It feels like I'm being sucked back to darkness. 

I'm trying to reach out, but it seemed that no one has a plan to grab it.

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Should I change the title of this book?

It should've been the 'Diary of a Melancholic Girl'.

*sigh*