Everybody Wants to Rule the World

42

Trigger Warning(s): suicidal thoughts, depression, description of a psychotic episode (another trigger-heavy chapter)

Side Effects by Stray Kids

~ Jimin's Point of View ~

00:57, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2028. DAEGU FATIMA HOSPITAL, SOUTH KOREA.

I woke up with a massive black hole in my memory. Despite that, I knew where I was, what I was there for, what had just occurred... which is why what happened next was so disconcerting.

Any voices?

I didn't want an answer. I begged my head not to answer. I prayed to God for the first time in forever, desperate to hear nothing.

You thought you could get rid of us.

You're so stupid.

We'll always be here.

Always tormenting you.

You can never escape.

Never escape from me.

From her.

From us.

So stupid for thinking.

You should never think.

You should kill yourself.

Before we kill you.

They were screaming at me again, my head was splitting in two, and I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. The blackness behind my eyelids swirled into shadows with vaguely terrifying shapes – shadows of men, women, and children. Innocent people I had killed.

We're part of you.

Never separated.

Always part of you.

You can't escape us.

No matter how hard you try.

We'll always be here to tell you the truth.

That nobody likes you.

Emira? She's faking.

Charlisa? She's faking.

Anesa? She never loved you.

I never loved you.

I always knew you were pathetic.

I hate you.

I HATE YOU.

They just kept talking, kept screaming. They didn't stop. They would never stop. Someone called my name, but I didn't know if it was real or fake. The reality of my head and the reality of the world were melding into an incomprehensible blur.

No one loved me.

I should... just die.

"Jimin!" Someone grabbed my shoulder and forced me to sit up. "Jimin, please, look at me."

"I don't... I can't... I won't." I recognized her voice, but I was afraid of what I would see, so I buried my face in my hands and hugged my knees into my chest. I didn't want to see anything. I wanted to die. "They're still there. They're still there. Why aren't they going away?"