Little deaths (ryden fanfic)

Chapter 18

So listening to FOB's new album while listening to this, this will clear up a few things... Also thank you to all of you 20 people who've read this :') it means a while fucking lot!!! I'm aiming for about 25 chapters... As always, enjoy xx
Brendon's PoV

Ryan had spilt his guts, and I was truly horrified. He could die from this fucking operation. I wouldn't ever, couldn't ever, lose him. He was my everything.

We stayed hugging for the longest time. My mom didn't bother us all day, I thought of everything as we stayed there, the made up my mind,

"Ryan, I swear to every God and Deity I will not leave your side for any of this. I promise." I said confidently, Ryan's sightless eyes met mine,

"You really mean that?" He whispered softly,

"Of course I do." I said, gently stroking his hair. It would be hard but I wouldn't let him do this alone. He was my boy.

We didn't eat other than a bag of popcorn my mom left in to us. Mainly we just lay there, simply holding each other.

It was almost as if if we let go, we would fall, and lose each other.

I wouldn't lose Ryan.
I wouldn't lose the most important thing in the world to me.

I had no working legs. I had no dad. I had no experience. I wouldn't get a job. I had very little hope.

Except for Ryan.

He was my hope. He was my dream.

Ryan keeps me existing.

In the late afternoon Ryan told me all the details. Two weeks. Two weeks till I could lose him, two weeks till I could see him happy. Till he could see me.

Shit

What if he didn't like my appearance? What if he thought I was ugly? Horrible? Short? What if he didn't want to date me. I panicked slightly and moved away from him slightly,

"Bren, I want you to know something. If you don't leave me, I sure as hell won't leave you." He said. And that was all the confirmation I needed.

We smiled more after that. Kissed more. It was as if this moment was the calm before the storm.

I could never have been more right.