Chapter 10

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Chapter 10
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Am I ready for the consequences? What consequences?

How do I answer him if he was too vague about it? Ang naiisip ko lang na posibleng rason na ayaw niya akong paunlakan ay ang pagkakaiba ng estado namin sa buhay. Maybe he is bound to marry a daughter from a prominent family, anyway. Iyon ba ang ibig niyang sabihin? Kahit ano pa ang konsikuwensiyang sinasabi niya, hindi pa rin matatawaran ang naramdaman ko sa panggugulo niya ng isipan ko. He did what he intended to do for that visit, latch on to me, making sure I would never get over him. He made sure that I knew who I would always crawl back into, and that was him.

That talk was supposed to be enlightening, but nothing about our conversation made anything clearer. Firstly, he is not in a relationship with Adalyn. And more importantly, he made me feel as though he likes me back. Iyong pinuntahan niya ako para magpaliwanag kahit hindi naman kailangan. Kasi ang taong ayaw sa akin, hahayaan na iyon ang isipin ko. Na hindi ko siya kailanman maaabot kasi may girlfriend siya. And for someone who claims to despise and hate me, Maverick was the opposite. What else would his reason be other than that he has feelings for me too?

Kaya kahit vague, alam kong parehas lang kaming may nararamdaman para sa isa't isa.

But I still pushed him away. His words to me were already irrelevant. Or at least that's what I convinced myself of. There is a huge part of me that believes he is not in love with Adalyn or anyone else. However, I pushed him simply because he ain't good for me. Siya na ang nagsabi no'n. I cannot let go of my relationship with Elias, so I had to push him away that day. I wanted a fresh start and I got that with Elias. I was happy and was in peace. I got very lucky with Elias. And I know it'd be a grave mistake to trade that for the fleeting moments I shared with him.

This time, I know I made the best decision for myself to avoid him.

Para hindi ko maisip ang pag-uusap na 'yon, inabala ko lang ang sarili sa pag-aaral, sa pagiging mabuting girlfriend at kaibigan. The rumors about Atlas' mystery crush also died down over time. I could finally say that I was free from all the torment I had gone through for the last months. It was freeing.

Although determined and obsessed, Aliyah failed consequently to find out who that mystery girl was. I felt guilty again, but I knew I couldn't break it for her. At kahit man malaman ni Aliyah, alam niyang masaya ako sa relasyon ko kay Elias, na wala akong takot kahit na kumalat ang pangalan ko. At this point, maybe I simply grew tired and developed an indifference to the issue. Wala na akong pakialam pa.

Maingay ngayon dito sa food festival sa Palayag. Kasama ko sina Maggie, Sky, at Maisie. Mamaya ay sasama rin si Elias pagkatapos niyang magtraining. Kung titignan nga lang, mukhang wala namang kumakain, pa ilan-ilan lang, hindi gaya ng mga kabataang nag-iinuman. Nasa pinakalikod kami na table naupo. Open field lang pero may malaking stage sa harapan at may bandang kumakanta. Hindi pa malalim ang gabi kaya hindi pa masyadong puno ang ibang mga lamesa.

Alas diyes na nang makasali si Elias sa amin. Bawal siyang uminom kaya sinamahan ko na.

"Okay ka lang? May problema ba?" I asked my boyfriend.

He finally lifted his heavy gaze at me. Kanina pa siya babad sa cellphone. Umiling siya kalaunan. Binagabag ako lalo't halatang hindi siya okay. He is paperwhite. Namumutla siya.

"Hindi ako sigurado, e. It's my Lola. I think... she's not well. 'Yon ang sabi ni Mama." His voice shook in fear.

Tumunog ang cellphone niya sa tawag ng Mama niya.

He signaled to go out to talk so I let him. Medyo hindi na rin ako makakinig sa musika sa nasabi ni Elias. Gusto ko siyang sundan sa labas ngunit napako ako sa kinauupuan. The people near our table started murmuring, whispering and looking in the same direction. Lahat ay nakatingin sa may entrance.

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