Dirk Gently and The Ghosts of Time

Brotzmans Don't Do Feelings

       "Come on, don't lie to us." Gripps perked up from the back. "We can smell it."

       "Yeah, all that negative energy-" Vogel added enthusiastically.

       "Real tasty smelling!" Cross finished his statement.

       "Ok, fine." But only for Vogel. She reached up to grab the cigarette box that sat on the dash. "I'm just thinking."

       "Bout' what?" Martin asked.

       "Todd." She held a cigarette to her mouth and lit it with a sharp inhale.

       "What'd that asshole do now?!" Cross yelled.

       "Nothing, actually." She turned her head over her shoulder to face the rest of the group. "He's actually doing really well. He's the happiest I've seen him in a long time." She turned her head back to the empty road ahead. Grey sky over the empty fields on either side of them.

       "Then why the negative energy?" Martin growled under his breath. If anyone did anything to their Drummer, there would be hell to pay.

       "It's just," she exhaled the smoke from her lungs forcefully, here comes a rant. "He's dating D-I-R-K now." She didn't want Beast to throw a fit over her Bibbit dating someone else, despite her insistence she was over it. "And I set them up, but I didn't expect them to be so... clingy? I don't know. It's just, I gave up a weekend with you guys to hang out and talk to him and what do I get? Them making out on the couch, at the agency, in the Jeep. Him spending 3 hours one day with him doing God knows what and another 3 hours the next day on a date! And when they weren't together they were texting."

      "Wow, ok. Was not expecting that." Gripps said. "Wanna talk?"

       Martin made a sharp turn into the field and everyone grabbed onto the nearest object to keep from falling over while he found a clearing. He suddenly broke and opened the side van door. "You know the rules, ain't no feelings in the van!" Beast immediately got out and started running around, Cross quickly followed.

       "You started it!" Vogel picked at him.

       "Well, I didn't know it was gonna be a whole 'thing'!" He snarled, "You wanna talk feelings? Get out outta the van. This is a no feelings zone."

       Gripps rolled his eyes and reluctantly got out. "You commin', Amanda?"

       "Yeah, whatever." She opened the passenger door and hopped out.

       "Hey, I'm always here to talk," he said.

       "The Brotzmans don't do feelings." She responded.

       "Haha," he chuckled, "You fit in real nicely here."

       "That's the thing!" She sat down on a rock. "This is my home now. I love it. It's perfect."

       "But?" He sat down next to her.

       "But I gave up a weekend with you guys for that stupid ass and he didn't even pay attention to me! I wanted to go there to let him fix things and instead he spent the whole time with his stupid boyfriend."

       "You said you set them up?"

       "Yeah but-"

       "I think you're blaming yourself. You think that it's your fault he isn't talking to you. Sure it was you who set them up and so there's that part, but you blame yourself for all your problems."

       "I'm not doing this." She tried to get up but Gripps pulled her back down.

       "We're doing this."