What They Deserve

THIRTY-FOUR

He cursed at himself as he drove, his mind whirring with the news story. 

Going home wasn’t an option right then. But he didn't know where to go. All he knew was that he needed to find some way to refocus. So he just drove with no plan in mind. He lost track of the time or even where he was going, but he was well outside of the city. The black of the night faded into a blended pallet of pastel orange and pink, tinged with yellow. If he hadn't been so caught up in his thoughts, he would have enjoyed the beauty of it and might have even considered taking Bailey for a midnight drive to enjoy watching the sunrise.

He'd been so careful. He was always vigilant when he looked for final resting places, making sure they were uninhibited in every way possible - out of the way, somewhere people had forgotten or didn’t care about. He made sure there was some way to gain a few days before anyone would consider them missing, giving him time to move on.

Time wasn’t the issue, however. The fact that her building had been found was. He knew there hadn't been a "for sale" sign up anywhere, but a nagging at the back of his mind told him that didn't mean it couldn't have happened afterward. And now that her body had been discovered, it was only a matter of time before they found out who she was and started making connections. 

Hoping he’d covered his tracks good enough that no one would be able to point him out,  he cursed himself for not lying about where he’d come from. He could have said anywhere in the United States, hell the world, and Bailey wouldn’t have pressed. But no, he’d been stupid and told her the truth.

Sure, he'd made mistakes with his earliest victims. But he'd learned and he'd adjusted. None of them had ever been discovered.

So what did I do wrong this time?

He slammed his hands against the steering wheel several times, his face screwed up in anger. Grunts of frustration escaped his throat with each hit.

To try and calm down, he pulled onto the shoulder of the road and ran his fingers through his hair, gripping and pulling just enough that it was a reminder this wasn’t a dream. He managed to control his breathing with his eyes squeezed closed until his heart stopped trying to beat its way out of his chest. His throat remained constricted and burned with each harsh breath he took in.

After several minutes, he opened his eyes to stare at the trees in the distance and realized that he was close to the mountains. For a second, a hike sounded like a good plan. But he was still wearing his clothes from his date with Bailey. And he didn't feel like ruining them.

With a heavy sigh, he put the truck into drive and pulled back out onto the road. All he could hope for now was that the body was too damaged for them to identify her. Even though he was sure that no one Willow or Raven had known, had ever seen him with them, he preferred that their identities stay a secret. 

Another panic attack crept up as he realized he was worried they'd find Raven too. Several expletives exploded from his mouth and he began to hit the steering wheel again. If they found Willow, there was a good chance they’d find Raven. And the fact that they were co-workers as well as friends would bring on a massive search for sure. Hell, they might even think the other disappearances were somehow linked.

As he continued to freak out and imagine all of his victims’ bodies being found, the sun continued to rise in the sky and he drove on. At some point, he pulled over again to regain some kind of composure. 

It was a long while before he felt any kind of calmness. And once he did, he struggled to keep control, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. 

All I can do is continue as if nothing has happened. Be with Bailey. She's all that matters. You’ve been careful. They’re not going to find April. And if they do, who cares? They’re not going to realize you’re responsible for several other womens’ disappearances. 

He gave himself a pep talk as he pulled into his parking spot at his apartment complex. He allowed his mind to wander, realizing it was easier to stay calm, and he remembered the day he had decided to rent the place rather than finding his normal run down bungalow. 

Bailey had been his reasoning. She was also why he’d bought the truck. The moment he’d chosen to make a life had been one of many he’d spent with her.

It had only been a few days since he'd been in the city when he ventured into Bailey's cafe. He was staying in a shady area, paying a weekly amount. It was one of his ways of ensuring he kept a low profile, stayed off of anyone's radar. 

But Bailey, his sweet and gorgeous Bailey, had done something to him. He reeled over how swiftly things had moved. He couldn't understand how she'd managed to calm him and make him feel so much toward her, but he didn't want to change that. 

When he realized that his desire, need to punish women wasn't so strong anymore, he found the apartment, moved in, and began his attempt at a normal life. He made the decision to be as perfect for her as he could.

The worry began to boil in his stomach again as the memory came to an end. He threw himself onto his bed, struggling to hold on to his control once again.

Would he be able to pretend like that woman had no connection to him? And if he could, for how long? Was his so-called normal life going to come to an end? Was his whole life going to crash down around him? Was he going to lose Bailey?