Patterns of Kindness

Chapter 1

"I am your demon,

your sin, your greatest horror,

and yet your closest friend."

Heine Tyrell

A wall. A massive grey wall and in the middle of it, there is an iron door. I'm hammering against it, constantly screaming the words "Let me out!"

Nothing happens, it's so silent that one could hear a pin drop. 

Then, suddenly, I hear a foreign voice.

"It's useless. He won't open the door because there is a certain reason why he keeps you here." The person speaking is a man, but there's something in the sound of the voice that makes me suspicious. 

"My name is Xander and you are?"

"Allison", I answer hesitatingly.

"Allison. I like names with an 'A' at the beginning."

Again! There's something strange about the way how he pronounces the words. He speaks slowly and clearly; I can understand every single word he says, though he must be communicating through an intercom because the room in which I am locked up is empty. And in the next moment I understand - he's imitating a child's voice. 

My knees are trembling, and I sink on the bare stone floor. I'm too shocked to cry. This must be a joke. 

This can't be possible, not now, not again.

"Mommy always said that it is uncultivated to sit on the floor..."

My view becomes blurred.

A cold hand touches my neck and I flinch. "What the...!", I say when I realise that it was just a dream. Well, rather a nightmare.

"Miss Leroy, would you be so kind to not sleep in my lesson?", my English teacher Ms Burks inquires.

Her hands pressed against her hip; she is staring at me with an angry gaze.

Most of my classmates are giggling, others are trying not to grin, but in vain. 

"Miss Leroy, I asked you a question!", Ms Burks says.

I don't want to risk landing in the principal's office at the school year and therefore answer quickly: "I beg your pardon, Ms Burks. This won't happen again."

Her posture loosens and she nods. "I hope so."

The class has finally stopped laughing and our teacher continues the lesson as if nothing happened. Only, I'm not listening. 

I'm waiting for the moment I can get out of here and don't have to look at the faces that only mock at me. I hate these people, I despise the teachers because they always say sorry, though it's not even their fault. I disgust this place and I just want to go home, where I can be who I am and don't have to wear a mask of lies.

In the same moment as Ms Burks pronounces the words "Class dismissed", the other pupils start packing their stuff and storm out of the room. Just as I want to leave, my teacher calls me, and I remain in class.

"Allison, I know, you're not always in the right mood, but that doesn't mean, you can sleep during the lesson."

"Ms Burks, I understand, and I have already told you-", but she interrupts me.

"Tell me – did something happen?"

"No, Ms. I can assure you that everything is fine – I'm just tired a bit. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Very well, then you may go. If you need something, you know where to find me", Ms Burks finishes and I leave, happy to have finally escaped her vexing inquiries.