salute [h.s]

to feel like she was not so alone

december 26 - eating candy canes

1D fanfic/Salute Extra

Harry/Piper

*

"Honestly, petal, everyone who lives on this street is mental. Your neighbours are all insane. Some lady dressed as Mrs. Clause stopped me in the street so she could shove candy canes in my hand and when I tried to walk by, she grabbed my arse. Just, grabbed it. No warning or anything."

She could hear him messing around in the living room, most likely shedding his coat and shoes and hat. She wanted to call out to him, to say something, but every time she opened her mouth she felt the air rushing from her lungs as if it was trying to make it's grand escape and she didn't have what she needed to form the words. She felt the burn in her eyes and pressed her palms there firmly to try and hold it back.

"Petal? Where are you — oh, still in bed? It's nearly one." Harry was in her room now. She recognized the sound of his tread on the carpet. When he pressed his knee to the empty portion of the mattress behind her, her body naturally rolled back and toward him. "Come on, sleepy head. Get up."

He hadn't noticed that she had been sleeping on the wrong side of the bed — she always slept on the right side even though she had the bed to herself. He hadn't noticed that she'd been quiet and hadn't greeted him. He hadn't noticed that the hair peeking out over the covers was greasy and limp from not having been washed in a couple of days.

He certainly noticed the tracks of tears on her cheeks.

"Piper, what's wrong?" he asked immediately as he brought both knees onto the mattress, leaning over her as his hands cradled her shoulders, easing her onto her back in the bed.

She thought that seeing him would make it better and that she'd finally be able to manage a smile but instead, she found her face scrunching up as new tears flooded her eyes. She threw her hands over her face as she began to suck in short gasps, attempting to catch her breath.

Harry's hands slid along her arms until they covered her hands. He curled his fingers slowly under her palms and then grasped her hands, pulling them from in front of her face. She could see Harry's concerned face through watery eyes. "Piper, what's going on? Why are you so upset?"

"I don't know," she murmured before wheezing a breath, blowing it out shakily. "I don't know what's wrong. I just woke up and I d-didn't want to get out of b-bed. And I can't stop crying —"

"Okay," Harry said softly, interrupting in as gentle a manner as possible. His hand released hers, letting them fall to the bed, and then one moved to cup her neck gently while the other swiped the tears from her face. "Shh, petal, you're going to be fine."

"Why do I feel like this?" Piper cried, her voice hitching as she tried to get her breath back. "I don't understand."

"That's alright. You feel the way you feel, there's no use trying to deny it. Just let it out a bit."

Harry's touch was gentle but his words were gentler and they did more for her than a simple hug or kiss could do. She tried taking a couple of deep breaths but they were shaky and came out all wobbly and that made her want to cry more for some reason. She tried really hard not to because Harry was right there watching and she didn't want to be this girl with him, the one who was overly emotional and couldn't control herself. She wanted to be strong, like he was. She wanted to be confident and self-assured. She wanted to be steel — unbreakable, rust-proof.

It made the tears that much more painful that they were uncontrollable. She couldn't hold them back. It felt like they burned as they spilled over her eyelids and tracked down her cheeks. She didn't want to be like this. She wished she could change it.