Deafening Silence

Chapter 6

 Dear Stranger,

Today in photography, we learned about harmony. Harmony within a composition is when it is a perfect balance. Like ying and yang. And how one thing that is different can throw off that whole harmony. Like one dot. Or one blade of grass. Or whether something in the composition is placed in the middle, or a little to the left. Stuff like that. Harmony is also in the real world, too. Like in the forest. If there is a predator somewhere, then they obviously have a prey. But what if the predator’s population started to decline? Then the prey’s population will skyrocket, which will also cause other things in the ecosystem to be affected. And that’s what happened to me. My life was going strong with Roo there and all of a sudden I lost him and now things are unbalanced and wrong. And I try to pick up the pieces and make everything right again, but it’s doing me no good.

And now I’m rambling on because I can’t stop thinking. My brain is so alive and my head is spinning. It’s 4:53 in the morning and I’m still not tired. I’m actually more awake than ever. It’s that feeling where you drink 4 energy drinks then you eat a bunch of sugary candy. But without the crash. Now my brain is jumping from Roo to the string theory to the Aztecs back to Roo and everywhere else. Especially to Roo, though. Especially the first homecoming I went to. Especially his purple tie and vest. Especailly the look on his face when he saw me get into his car.

There’s that dumb smile. There are those bright eyes. There’s that happiness.

“You look so beautiful, Ave.”

My dress wasn’t anything special. And indigo dress that has a black sash tied around me. I told Roo how handsome he looked as we were driving. And he smile. And I smiled. And it was perfect again.

I don’t really do much dancing at dances. I never did. I just stood off to the side and tapped my foot, but Roo wanted to change that about me. He pulled me into his big group of friends. And they were all so tall. And funny. And welcoming. I was really smiling at that point.

I saw a lot of people that I recognized from the football game. They remembered me, too.

“Hey, Ave!”

“Ave! How’s it goin’?”

“You look so pretty, Avery!”

I looked around at their smiles. And I listened to their laughed. Suddenly, I found myself smiling and laughing, too. Their smiles were contagious. I felt great; on top of the world almost. It’s like when you’re sitting in class on the last day of school. Waiting for that one spectacular moment. With a smile plastered on your face. And you couldn’t wipe it off if you tried. It’s like that. Except warmer. And fuller. Because you’re in a group of people who care about you. It may just be a handful of people, but it’s enough to make you feel really good. Nothing seems to matter but that moment, that song, that joke. I was having a great time.

We were all the awkward bunch who don’t listen to the “popular” (if I may) music, but we sang along as if we knew the words. And we danced as if we were good. And we smiled.

There was a lot of crazy music at the dance. I didn’t like a lot of it. A lot of it was rap about girls and money. A lot of it was techno. Just about all of it was garbage. I still sang along and danced, though. I somehow knew some of the words, probably from Ben. He listens to a lot of the music I do, but he does listen to the other stuff from time to time. I never thought that it would come in handy, but I guess that I thought wrong. Roo thought that I would be awkwardly stuck because I wouldn’t know the words.

“How do you know this stuff? Geez!”

I shot him a wink, “You’re not so hot now, are you?”