salute [h.s]

life's too short to be living without you (niall/marlow)

"Cabron!" she hissed as she reached through and hit him twice more. "You scared the shit out of me! I thought someone was stalking me all this time and it was just you? You had me scared to death. Dios mío, Niall, I thought you were someone from that organization, the ones from the courthouse —"

Marlow found the words slipping away as her voice cracked, her throat tightening as her heart raced a mile a minute. She tried her best not to think about that afternoon and for the most part she was successful. But when it did come to mind, when she remembered how terrified she'd been seeing that gun pointed at her, it hit her twice as hard.

She looked up frantically when she felt Niall's hand pick hers up from where she'd been resting it on the open window and lace his fingers with hers. "Breathe, Lo. Just take slow breaths, alright?"

Marlow nodded, swallowing hard before following his instructions and focusing on breathing in and out with slow, practiced motions. Niall tightened his grip until their palms were pressed together.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," Niall said when Marlow had managed to catch her breath. "That wasn't my intention."

"So why have you been following me for days?"

Niall pressed his lips together for a moment, grimacing sheepishly. "I was worried about you," he admitted. "I just wanted to make sure you were safe."

"You —" Marlow's brows quirked up as she watched a look of deep concern cross Niall's face. "You what?"

He sighed, his eyes drifting down to their joined hands as he scowled hard, his brow drawn and his jaw tight. "I've been at the hospital with Piper since the takeover," he told her unnecessarily because she already knew. He was her source of updates on what was going on with poor Harry, still unconscious and showing few signs of waking up any time soon. Even the thought made her eyes hurt terribly with the pressure of tears that she'd been holding back for days.

"I have to watch one of my best mates slowly losing her mind sitting at my other best mate's bedside, waiting for him to wake up. I have to remind her to eat and force her to sleep and hold her when she cries." Niall blew out a slow, pained breath, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Marlow couldn't imagine how hard it was, trying to keep a smile on his face for Piper's sake when one of his best friends was in such a dire condition. Marlow tightened her hand around Niall's. "It makes you realize things, ya know?" he muttered. "Life is so short."

"Niall —"

He looked up with such frantic sadness and aching heartbreak in his eyes that it stole the breath from her lungs. "I keep thinking of what would have happened if you'd gotten hurt that day, if you'd been shot. It could be you lying in the hospital right now instead of Harry —" He slammed his free hand down on the steering wheel with a bang and then slammed back against his seat, his fingers coming up to tug at his lips. "I hate myself for being happy it's him and not you. He's my best mate but — I can't —"

"Shh, querido," Marlow said soothingly as she leaned in closer. "Don't do this to yourself. None of this is your fault and you shouldn't feel bad for being conflicted."

He nodded but it was a distracted sort of motion. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to make sure you were safe and nothing happened." He looked up at her with wide blue eyes, so full of emotion that she couldn't tell which was which. "I almost lost you, Lo. I'm not going to let that happen again."

For a moment, Marlow didn't know what to say, what to do — she didn't know anything at all. Her mind was racing a thousand miles a minute, throwing thoughts around until her head was just a jumbled mess. So she stopped thinking and let her heart do the talking.

"I love you."

Niall's head whipped up so fast she heard his neck crack. His eyes were wide but this time it was with surprise, and maybe a bit of apprehension. "You what?" he asked, his voice a high squeak.

"I love you," she repeated. "Or, at least, I think I do. I'm not sure. But I care about you a lot, Niall, and it's like you said — life is short."

"I think I love you too," Niall said, his voice sounding a little hoarse, like the confession was not an easy one. But when Marlow glanced up, he was smiling brightly and all the sorrow and confusion in his eyes was gone, replaced by a bright happy glint. "And that scares me, god Lo, it scares me so much because that means I have so much more to lose. But I think — I think it's worth it, don't you?"

She was filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and surged forward, intending to kiss him. She was surprised when he jerked back away from her.

"No, a stór," Niall said gently as she leaned back away from him. "My sandwich had avocados," he told her as he pointed to the sandwich at his side. He tapped the right side of his face. "Cheeks only, please."

Marlow sometimes forgot how lucky she was to have a boyfriend like Niall, thoughtful and attentive, who paid attention to the small details like how she liked her tea and her extensive list of allergies and the brand of fabric softener she preferred. It was with a beaming grin that she leaned forward, touching her lips gently to his cheek.

"My prince charming," she said when she pulled back, delighting in the way a pink flush appeared on his cheeks as he grinned. "We'll finish this at home, yeah?"

"I'll see you tonight," Niall said. "And I promise I'll stop sitting outside your work."

"Do what you like," she said with a shrug. "It might be sort of nice knowing you're out here looking after me."

She pushed off the window and checked traffic on the street before stepping away from the SUV. It occurred to her as she walked away that her and Niall had just said their I love yous for the first time while she was leaning in his car window outside of her work. Certainly not traditional but something about it felt very Niall and Marlow in her mind. When she turned to wave at Niall before she went back upstairs into work, it was with a full heart and the biggest smile possible on her face.