Where Flowers Never Grow

4- apologies and attornies

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 G Summers (Liz Hurley) on side.........................>

Sorry about my sister. She's...well...there really is no excuse for Grace. But...she's just not good with new people. She's always had this way about her.'' he said.

I sniffled, ''uhh huhh.''

''umm...what did you mean when you said to ask your...your...parents?''

''my father is dead Rocky! Killed on impact in a car reck.'' I muttered angrily.

Rocky sighed. He curled his eyebrows,

''i'm soo sorry to hear that Mick...''

''everybody's sorry! Everybody is so sorry for me. I'm tired of sorry people. I mean dammit Rocky!! How would you feel? Everybody is always saying sorry. Makes you feel as if everybody had a part in what happened. As if everyone know's that they contributed to my pain so when they see me they say sorry. I don't want that! I feel like the world has turned against me already. I don't need anyone telling me sorry. I'm sorry got dammit! I'm sorry for ever being born. I'm sorry for ever loving that stupid doll! That stupid red yarn haired doll.''

Rocky sat, silent, expecting me to say more. When he was sure I was done he grabbed my hand slowly. He curled his fingers around my palm and stood me up with him.

''lets go inside the house. Its getting chilly into the night,'' he said.

I was suddenly aware of the shivers going up and down my arms. Was this because Rocky was holding my hands? Or maybe it was because of the cold....? Yea, thats it! The cold. I don't like Rocky. Right?

G Summers met us at the door.

''Rueben!!'' she called. Soon, the young boy came to her service. ''you and Rocky go get Mick's things from in the car. She'll be staying in the guest bedroom downstairs.''

The boys nodded before running out to the car.

''come on Mick, lets go down to your new room.''

''no,'' I said. ''its your room. I'm only sleeping in it.''

For a while G Summers said nothing. And then she nodded in "agreement" after leading me into the basement.

''to the left is one room. Straight ahead is where you'll be sleeping. And to your right is where we put the dogs. Crimson and Cortez,''

I nodded.

　

That night while I was unpacking my suite case Rocky came in to visit me.

　

I tried to fight back the tears as I folded my jumbled up clothes and stuffed them into the dresser. I organized everything just as my mother used to do for me. I tried to put pictures on the wall and make the room exaclty how mine was at home. To make my own little safe haven. I propped up a picture of me at 7 years old and baby moose face up on my dresser. Seven. I thought. The year of seven. When I was a truly inocent child. A child with both parents that loved and cared for me. A child that didnt give a damn about a doll. A child that wouldnt have ever imagined killing her mother. Innocence. Its all i've ever wanted all of these years. To escape. To escape the pain and images of what i'd done. No...not an innocent child anymore. The year of nine...the year of the doll...and the year of the murder. The year of ten...that all comes later...

''Mick?....'' Rocky said slowly as he approached my room and tap tap tapped on the door.

''c'mon in,'' I said sniffling quietly.