My hubby from another mother - A Shivika Fanfiction -(On Hiatus)

~37~

I would kindly request you to read the first part while listening to the song up there. I wrote it while listening to the song and I can assure you that I had tears in my eyes while writing it. I am completely responsible if you ever cry and virtual tissues will be given afterwards x) 

I sat there, my arms wrapped around myself. I couldn't find the strength to look at the outer world as I was alone in this room. Her pictures were around me but I couldn't sense her presence. I needed her to wash this pain away from my heart, I wanted her to tell me that everything would be alright, that I didn't need to cry or to fear. I looked up as fresh tears streamed down my face.

"Maa..." I stuttered. "Maa... Am I wrong to choose my love over my dad's relationship? Maa, I'm feeling so lost! I don't know what to do. I told him to forget about us but I won't even be able to breathe without him. I don't even want dad to give up on Pinky aunty. In these few days, she managed to win my heart maa... She will never replace you but she's continuing your work! She's being a guide for Gauri, she is supporting me like you used to... I don't feel like giving up on her, but I don't feel like giving up on my love either!" I sobbed as I stuck my forehead on the floor as if I was bowing down in front of her portrait. Suddenly it became hard to breathe, suddenly it became hard to think. It became hard to live. Torn between my love for my father and my first love who happened to be my love from another mother.

I wanted so much to shout at the world for such an unlucky fate but who would listen? Shivaay didn't even want to fight for us. The worst part was that I understood him. He never got a father and there my dad was doing for him everything a father would do for her son. And as a son, he didn't want to deceive him. I understood him but that didn't mean that I supported him.

We had dreams. I had dreams with him. I thought we would be together forever, I thought we would grow old together, I thought we would have children, watch them become good adults and have children on their own. When I looked in his eyes, I thought that everything would be fine. When I looked in his eyes, I saw a future for the both of us. When I looked in his eyes, I saw a better version of myself.

I straightened up and looked again at the portrait.

"I stopped having faith in God when he took you away from me, Maa. If there is a God, I think he made my life a good joke! Then if he exists and if you're up there with him, tell him I don't find this funny! I want a sign to go on, Maa! Please! I'm feeling like suffocating! I'm feeling helpless, I'm feeling lost... Something died inside of me today when I gave that ring back to Shivaay. I don't want to feel like that anymore, Maa. It hurts too much!" I cried. As I heard some noise outside, I quickly wiped my face and left the room.

"Oh, Annika, where were you?" Daddy said as he saw me coming from around the corner.

"I was huh... I was searching for something... But never mind. Where are Veer uncle and his family?" I inquired while trying to not meet his eyes.

"They already left. They had to go to meet some relatives."

"Ok I need to go have some water, my mouth feels dry," I said and headed to the kitchen.

"I think I lost her, mom." I heard Shivaay's voice in the kitchen.

"Don't speak nonsense. You have to show her how you want her by your side. From what I've understood, I think she's right. You shall not take long to tell everything to her father. A relationship is better hidden from outsiders' evil eye but never from family." Pinky aunty said.

I entered the kitchen to take some water pretending that I didn't hear anything.

"I just want some water," I said, trying hard not to glance at Shivaay.

"Shivaay, can you give me the paprika?" Pinky aunty asked. The spices were in the cupboard right above my head. I knew she did it on purpose. Well, guess what? Thanks to Shivaay's clumsiness, the paprika spread on my hairline. I looked up at him teary-eyed while he looked at me sheepishly. I touched the red spice and was rather spellbound than shocked. The sign I was waiting for had come quickly.

"I'm sorry, Annika." He said. I moved my head from side to side and hugged him tightly. Pinky aunty's presence was long forgotten as I remembered what I shouldn't have forgotten in the first place. Our love was written in our fate. No matter what, we would always find our way towards each other.

"Maybe you can go upstairs and discuss this issue," Pinky aunty suggested and I hummed.

I headed upstairs in the pretence that I wanted to wash my hair which wasn't completely false and Shivaay followed stating that he wanted to watch something on his laptop. As soon as we were sitting together in my room, we literally lost our words. This was the first time in three years that we were on the verge of breaking up.

"Do you think that we can find a way to be together even with our parents being married?" I asked as I played with my fingers. He held onto my hand and slid the ring back on my finger.

"I never said that I wanted to give up on you Annika. I said that I didn't want to deceive your dad but I don't want to give up on you either." He replied.

"And what if my dad says you shall break up with me?" I inquired.

"I would tell him that in this world only he and I are able to bear you and that it would be unfair for an innocent dude to bear such a crazy person like you when I'm all ready and willing to do so," Shivaay replied and I punched his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry for breaking up with you." I sighed while looking down.

"Breaking up? You can never do that! Did you manage to breathe when the idea that we won't be together brushed your mind?" He asked and kissed my fingers.

"I even lost the will to live when I thought of a life without you."

"Then never think of something that will never happen..." I saw him looking at my hairline before smiling. "I now have you for seven lives. My bride."

"Do you still have any doubt about this?" I asked as I kissed his cheek.