When You LOVED Me...

19.

*Unedited*

That was uncalled for.

The fight I had with my mother.

Oh god, I just hate my life.
Actually, Aaron didn't once remind me that I am into a fake marriage or things like that.

Whenever I spent time with him, I had thoughts like we can be friends or we could be more. He didn't outrightly point out that being social awkward or shy was my mistake. Because of that I forgot that I was not supposed to be okay with this, or what it was at all. It was all a mistake. I was all a mistake.

My day was passing as usual, boring, secluded in my room, watching random videos on youtube. And, in the middle of the vedio of 'The Lion whisper', my mother called.

And I picked it up.

I don't know why I did it, but It just happened out of habit, and after picking it up I realised that I was not supposed to.

But that was not the thing that agitated me, what saddened me was that she started talking to me like she normally did, asking how was my day going, What I am doing and stuff.

I answered most of her queries in one or two words. If she didn't want to acknowledge the big elephant in the room, so why would I?

But she was can't be satisfied with that, can she?

She has to point out that I was talking rudely to her, and if I was talking like this to her, I would be behaving rudely with my in-laws also and embarrasing her and on and on.

After that the call turned into illogical arguments from both of our side. It has to be, I can't defend myself with reason because I must have embarrassed her.

I am a huge embarrassment, I know that.

I cut the call by saying that Ain't she was happy that I was married now, she hasn't had to be worried beyond that.

And, Now I am crying.

No surprise there Mia, No surprise.

I am actually not crying about what my mom said, I am actually angry at myself that I reasoned with her. There no point in explaining my point, or what I am feeling. The only thing that I have learnt my whole life that keep your thoughts and feelings to myself and my small mind could not remember that.

Now, by arguing with her, I actually proved her point whatsoever.

I pushed myself further into the pillow, desperately trying to without the sobs. Why just I couldn't do a simple thing?

Why you have to be so dumb Mia?

I hate you.

~

I woke up from my sleep, when knocks resonated on my door. My head pounded heavily as I raised my head and saw it was night time. I fell back on the bed and covered my aching head from pillow to cover the noise and to sooth the headache that formed due to crying.

If you just act mature.

Ah, no way my mind was going to leave me alone and whoever was on the door. If I didn't respond, the person would leave, right?

"Mia, Dinner is ready."

Or not.

Fat tears spilled automatically from my eyes. Ugh, I don't know why I am crying anymore. It was just the after etching, maybe.

"Uh, I am not hungry." My voice sounded rough and groggy. And my throat ached when I speak. I just did, so he can leave me alone. The knocks stopped and I sighed in relief.

I just can't beleive, how comfortable I got with Aaron. At least to the point where I didn't feel like I am committing something wrong just by being there. But, oh he would soon realise I am not worth the time. I am not.I have to keep my distance with him.

Just because he was too nice to not to point out Mia, you are not going to bother him. You know how you are, boring, childish, crybaby type person no one would want to spent time with. You should have learnt that in your 24 years of life, shouldn't you. You must save him the effort.

Yes, I would. Now, shut up.

Just when I was going back to the blissful darkness, my door squeaked.
I had locked the door, hadn't I?

I bashfully wiped my tears and pretended to be asleep. My room was filled with darkness, all lights were off. Hopefully he will take the cue and leave.

"Mia"

Shit. I stilled, it was hard not to make any sound when you were in the middle of a hysterical fit. Ah, just leave, please.

But he didn't, instead he switched on the lights.What happened to 'you will be in your space and I will be in mine'. I hadn't visited the second floor yet. And here he was.

Let him, found out.Even if he didn't point out, he will know, what he was dealing with.

I groaned and instantly covered my head with blankets. My eyes hurting with sudden lights. "Leave" I said groggily.

"Are you crying, Mia?"

"No".

How it would feel, if a guy, with whom you were randomly married and who just happened to kissed you once, found out that you were 24 years old and you were crying.

Worst, right?

I would say, if I am not this disoriented,I am right now, I had given him a peace of mind for breaching my privacy. But I very much doubt that.

I silently wiped out the tears under the sheets sensing that he was not going anywhere soon. And took a deep breath to control my emotions.

Thoughts to yourself, Emotions to yourself, Mia.

"I was just sleeping, but you ruined it"
My voice was still peachy but it didn't cracked. I was thankful for that. I had did it before but I was not going to loose my shit before him.

It was a horrible thought.

I rubbed my eyes and slowly lowered the blankets and sat up. Let my hairs cover my face from him looking down. He was at the door and looking at me with watchful eyes.

"Oh"

"Yes, and I am not hungry." My head still pounded with massive headache. I wiped my face again and sighed into my hands. Just leave.

I heard him came near me and he gently pried my hands away from my face. I looked at him and blinked to remove the stinging sensation.

Oh,he was so handsome.

His blue eyes held so much gentleness that I melt right away. His expression held so much warmth that I have to stop myself from latching onto him. I curled my fingers and my grip tightened around his. Oh, he hadn't left them.

He sat next to me, close, carefully like he was approaching a scared kitten. I wanted to ask him, what he was doing. But no words left my mouth. I just watched him when he gingerly placed my arms around his waist and then gently ran his hand through my hairs and then came forward and hugged me, gently soothing my back.
I was just going to push him back, but then he said,

"It's Ok to cry, I cry sometimes too, you know."

That gentle soothing words are enough, to let my dam loose.

*****

Sorry guys for late update.

But I am facing difficulty in writing the plot.

But here's an Update.

Thankyou ShyZ for asking me to update. I was having second thoughts about the story.But I am not gonna left you hanging.

Please vote and comment guys, sometimes a non-writer like me need encouragement to keep going.

Thanks for reading.

Kai_po_che!

*****