It's Complicated

Quiet Reunion

Jay POV

It was quiet. It wasn't exactly awkward, but it wasn't exactly peaceful either. He knew that whatever Nya wanted to say, it wasn't something she wanted anyone else to hear. It was clear that she was thinking. Perhaps to scream at him for all of the pain and fear that he caused. He deserved that and so much more. I would understand if she would never be able to talk to me again. It was within her rights.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Nya asked.

We had just sat on a bench and watched some birds dance in the sky. It was fun to see see how free they were. It made me feel like I was trapped in some sort of cage. Maybe because I was trapped by chains and commitments. Maybe because I felt like my whole future was being planned out in front of me. 

"It was too dangerous. There were so many times where I wanted to say something. I just didn't want to put you in more danger. I feel so guilty for going back my words. I am putting you in so much danger by just hanging out and talking to you. I just want you to be safe." I confessed as I looked towards my hands.

"Oh, I understand that. I meant why didn't you say anything about Morro and Nadakhan." Nya stated as she looked towards my confused eyes.

I almost didn't remember that I told them about the bullying. Not even told them. I just stated that I was being bullied by them. Out of that entire story, of course the bullying was the one thing that she wanted to talk about. Leave it to her to worry about the little things.. 

"That had been happening since day one. They didn't like that I was hanging out with you. They didn't like that I was starting a relationship with you. You all knew that I got into a fight with them." I stated as I remembered the fight that Cole had with them.

"Yeah, I thought that was it. I didn't realized that you were getting death threats." Nya said as she looked at me sternly.

"Woah. I never said it was death threats." I said as I held my hands up.

"Your eyes say otherwise." Nya said as she crossed her arms.

I sighed before looking away again. This wasn't exactly where I was thinking that this conversation was going. She always seemed to be worrying about the wrong things. Why couldn't she just worry about the fact that I just sentenced her and all of her friends to death for my own selfish reasons? 

"It doesn't matter. It is in the past. You really should be worrying about other things." I said as I slowly looked back up towards her.

"You think that I am not? I just learned that you found a dead body in your house that you think is sending you some sort of message. Now that, I am freaking out about. This is me just trying to be calm about everything." Nya said as she started freaking out. 

That was better. This was a reaction that I was ready for. This was a reaction that seemed normal. Again, the wrong reason to worry about it, but it was an improvement. Did she have a mental block for her own self protection? I thought back to Kai who was over protective and her parents. That had had to be it. This was her pushing back. 

"You are worrying about the right thing for the wrong reason. I am not something that you should worry about. I am not worth it." I said as I laughed coldly towards the end.

"You and I both know that isn't true. Just like how we both know that we still love each other." Nya stated again as she reached and grabbed my hand.

"I don't get why you want to be in a relationship with me. It is so dangerous, and stupid, and..." My lips were silenced by hers.

Everything that I wanted to say was pushed out the window and left my mind completely. I couldn't even remember what we were talking about anymore. I was only aware of her and that was enough for me to block out everything else. It had been so long since this happened. Since we could be together like this. 

"It isn't stupid. You aren't stupid. You are the only one I have ever let into my heart, and it most certainly isn't because you are stupid. You just need to open your eyes. Here is the thing, Walker. You can try to push me away, you can try to break away from everything that we have built, but I wont let you. I wont let you push me away because you are worried and scared. So what if there is a little bit of danger? I am a Ninja now. I know a thing or 2 about danger." She said as she stood up and put her hands on her hips to prover her point.

"But what if... I don't know." I said as I tried to think of something, to try and make her see my side.

"I see your side, but you also need to see mine. I love you and I want to be with you. If danger happens to come with you, so be it. Bring on the armies and bloodshed." Nya said as she pulled me up and hugged me.

"I love you too." I whispered as I kissed the top of her head and hugged her back. 

"I know. That is why we are here." Nya whispered into my chest.

I hummed in agreement as I laughed softly to myself. For now, we were together again. We could be Jay and Nya. Yet, I couldn't help but feel I was drowning. Drowning in a sudden sense of doubts and insecurities. It was like I was fighting to breathe, and something was holding my mouth and nose back from taking in the air. Like I had an anchor attached to my ankle that was dragging me down.

I thought back to Libbie's words. She said that things were supposed to be easier when I actually trusted her. When I actually let Nya into my life. Yet, I felt even more trapped and almost even protective of the girl I was hugging. If I was supposed to feel my responsibilities drift away and feel free, why did it feel like things just got even more complicated?