Slowly learning that life is okay (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETE]

Ellie - When all your shadows almost killed your light

Ellie tossed her phone to the side on the sofa, picking up the controller to play. She was not going to check on it, she was going to pretend she wasn't anxiously waiting for Dina's answer.

The screen lit up and she immediately pressed pause and opened the message.

Ellie: what are you doing today?

Dina: Nothing. Why?

Ellie: you wanna go grab a coffee?

Dina: Are you asking me on a date, Ellie?

Ellie: yes?

Ellie: if you want to

Ellie: it's okay if you dont

Ellie: do you?

Dina: You're so stupid

Dina: Yeah

She rereads Dina's answer, feeling butterflies in her stomach and a smile growing on her face. They agreed to meet at six, so Ellie still had about half an hour before she needed to start getting dressed.

Thirty minutes she obviously spends mindlessly playing video games, because her brain is too busy gay panicking. What should she do? Dina agreeing to go on a date with her had to mean she liked liked her, right? As in a more-than-friends way.

She showered and tried to look nice. This was a date, should she wear something nicer than a t-shirt and her flannels? Maybe a button up?

She ended up wearing a better put together version of her everyday clothes: the NASA hoodie and a nicer denim jacket with black jeans.

"Where are you going?" Joel asked her as she passed by the kitchen. "Why are you dressed up?"

"What? Pfft," she kept walking to the sofa to put on her shoes, "I'm always dressed like this."

Joel leaned on the corridor, his arms crossed as he raised one eyebrow.

"New hoodie, fresh pants and socks, the cleanest jacket," he counted on his fingers, "and you showered."

"Just because Esther enjoys your old man smell doesn't mean I wanna go out smelling like a mummy," she said, bending down to tie her shoes. The comment only made Joel huff and roll his eyes.

"Who are you meeting with? Jesse?" She almost choked on her spit.

"No, with Dina. Why?"

"Nothing," he said, but there was a different shine in his eyes, which made her shake her head and get her keys. "Don't forget you guys have school tomorrow."

"Sure, old man," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Careful on the way down, I heard you tripping down yesterday," he teased and she just looked at him.

"It's not my fault, it's the snow!" Then before he could say anything, she closed the door.

She very carefully stepped down the stairs and walked down to the café. There was snow pilling on the corners of buildings and on the roads, and it fell from the sky, making her cheeks cold. She shoved her hands in her pockets, listening to her music and trying to calm herself down.

She had a solid plan: to tell Dina how she felt, because not knowing exactly where they stood was driving her crazy. She didn't want to lose her, their friendship, but she was afraid not talking about it would lead to that. And if Dina said she didn't like her, she would move on. She'd have to.