Athazagoraphobia

Alt. Chapter 15

Everyone was sitting around the map table, all staring at God's sister. Amara and Cas were the only ones standing, the former standing at the opposite end of the table with the latter standing behind his husband.

"I'm here for you, Dean. Well, more like to apologize," Amara stated, a look of sadness adorning her face.

Dean blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, something he did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. Right now, it was kind of both. "What do you mean?"

"I was the one who brought John Winchester back," she answered.

Cas began to rub circles into Dean's shoulders as he felt his heart begin to race. Ever since the incident, Cas and Rowena both had been more in tune with Dean, paying attention to every little thing. They didn't think anything too bad would happen, but they wanted to be prepared. And if Dean were to pass out again, they wanted to be there for him.

"Yeah, we kinda figured that much out." He didn't see why that required a visit from God's sister of all people. I guess if she had seen what had happened during his visit, then maybe.

"Do you know why I brought him back?"

"We just thought that you thought Dean needed both him and Mary back. Giving him what he needed most," Cas answered for him when he felt Dean freeze. Just the thought that there might be another reason for him being there terrified him. He could feel sweat building on his forehead and his chest and arms began to ache. As if Cas and Crowley could tell, the angel began to massage Dean's arms while Crowley snapped a glass of water into existence, which Dean immediately chugged half down.

When no one said anything, Amara decided to continue. "I knew about your Athazagoraphobia. I've known it since I first laid eyes on you. It was hard to see, being buried so deep in your subconscious. I knew that there was no way to inform you of it in a way you would believe me, considering no one else could see it." Amara then sighed, her shoulders slumping as she thought about what John had done with his stay at the Winchester home. "I knew the only way for anyone to even think about it was to see you at your worst, to see your Athazagoraphobia kick in. So, I did the only thing I could think of: I brought your father back to life." Amara then leaned forward in her seat. "I knew what he had done in the past, and I apologize for bringing him back, but it needed to be done. I wish there was another way to get you to that point, but this was the only way. And I apologize for having to get you to that point at all." She leaned back in her seat, grief clear in her eyes.

Dean could feel himself fringing on the edge of a panic attack. He couldn't believe it. Amara knew what he had done to them, to him, growing up, yet she still thought it would be a good idea to bring him back?! Well, she knew it was a bad idea, but still!

Granted, the more he thought about it, the more he realized she was right. Had Amara just shown up one day and tried to explain to him that he had a mental disorder called Athazagoraphobia, which didn't even sound real, there was no way he would've believed her. He would've done the same thing in her position.

He could feel his panic ebbing away and after finishing his water, he had stopped sweating.

"It's ok. I understand. It wasn't your fault. I'm just glad that it's all over now."

Amara tilted her head to the side, eerily similar to Cas, but completely different nonetheless. "You do realize that he will never stop trying to find you, right?"

"We know," Sam broke in. "But it's a risk we're willing to take in order to make him suffer. Plus, I have a feeling we have some friends that are gonna be keeping a close eye on him."

Amara looked around the room to see the Archangel, the Angel, the Nephilim, the King of Hell, a vampire, and a witch all nod their heads.

It still amazed her that one human, albeit, the Righteous Man, could bring this odd group of creatures together. While they were all close to Sam, you could tell they were all there for Dean (except for Gabriel, whose main concern was Sam). Dean was very much the leader of this group; the one everyone listened to. He had an air to him that made everyone around him want to be his friend, to want to listen to him. He could make even his worst enemies his best friend. Dean Winchester was special in such a way that the English language failed to have a word to describe him.

She felt a pull; Chuck wanted her. She stood up, catching the eyes of everyone in the room. "I'm glad that everything worked out for the best, but I'm afraid I must go. My brother wants me."

Dean then smiled at her. "Thank you, Amara, for letting us know."

Amara gave him a small smile one second, then the next she was gone.

Mary let out a light chuckle that caught everyone's attention. "You know the strangest people."

Slowly people started to file out of the room until all that was left was Cas, Dean, and Sam.

"How do you feel?" Sam asked. After the bombshell that had been dropped, he didn't expect an entirely positive answer.

"I'm, uh..., I'm ok, I think." After a beat of silence and a light squeeze on both hands, Dean continued. "I'm glad that we found out about it. I just wish we could've found a different way, but I know there isn't."

"To be honest, it could've been a lot worse. We're lucky we caught him when we did," Cas added.

Dean shivered just thinking about what could've, and nearly did happen.

"Well, I'm gonna go eat some of that breakfast we made. Half of it's probably gone by now, so you better hurry," Sam said, standing up and making his way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute," Dean called out. He then turned to look at Cas, who was staring at him with absolute love in his eyes. With a single, light tug on his arm from the angel, Dean immediately crawled onto his husband's lap; Cas quickly wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close to his chest. Dean just curled up further into Cas's chest.

"He's never coming back. I promise. We'll make sure of it. He'll never touch you again. He'll never touch Sam, or Jack, or our child. Ever."

It took Dean a minute to process what Cas said, but once he did, he shot up, staring into his husband's eyes. He clambered off Cas's lap and back into his chair, scooting up as close as he could. He leaned over and grasped Cas's hands, an ecstatic smile on his face.

"Are, are you serious?" Cas just nodded and tears threatened to fall down his face. Dean placed a hand on the angel's stomach, knowing there wasn't anything to feel yet, but just reassuring that there was a new life growing there; one he helped create.

At that point, tears were cascading down both their faces.

"When did you find out?"

"Just this morning. I was gonna tell you later today, in a different way, but I thought that this would be the perfect time."

Dean then removed his hands from Cas's abdomen and instead placed them on either side of his husband's face, leaning in to kiss him with all his might.

When they finally broke apart, they stared at each other with pure bliss.

"Why don't we go share the news with the rest of our family?" Cas suggested, wiping both his and Dean's tears from their faces. Dean nodded, then grabbed Cas's hand and dragging him to the kitchen where the rest of their family was waiting.

They couldn't wait.