harlem's perspective.
I sit in the master bathroom on the toilet, waiting for this little stick to give me an answer. Lately I've been moody, unfocused, and just overall not myself. So I decided to get an answer. My period didn't come on last month, which I just chalked up to stress, but it's late this month too so I think I know what's going on.
Finally, two little lines appear on the pregnancy test and honestly, I'm shocked. Of course, Christian and I don't use any protection but we're usually really good about pulling out. It's worked since we've had Caleb, but I guess there's always room for slip up. Usually I would be happy to be having another baby with my husband but honestly, I already know I can't keep it.
We just had to let my brother move in with Tiana's mom so what kind of message would I be sending to him having another baby when I already told him I don't have the time or space to take him in? I can't hurt my baby brother like that. Plus Christian and I are both super busy and his mom has her hands full watching the 3 kids we already have everyday. I can't put another one on her.
This just really sucks. Christian and I are already having a rough patch and now I have to tell him that I'm pregnant. I just know he's gonna he pissed.
I don't have time to sit around and cry, though. I throw the pregnancy test away, get up and wash my hands, then leave the restroom. I go check on the kids, who's all taking naps right now, then get back to my computer to finish up some work for my business.
After a few hours, Christian comes home, we all sit and have dinner I prepared as a family, and then we put the kids to bed and say good night to his mom. She's such a huge help, I need to do something to thank her one day. We already don't pay her, but we pay all of her bills for her and gave her a credit card so she could get stuff she needed (like groceries for the house) or stuff that she wanted, and we just pay the bill each month.
Once everyone is settled and in bed, I build up some courage to talk to Christian about the news I had.
"Christian, I know you had a long day and all, but I really need to talk to you about something before we go to bed."
"This can't wait until tomorrow? I gotta be up early tomorrow." He says.
"Not really."
"Fine," He sits up in the bed. "What is it?"
"I took a pregnancy test today and it was positive. That's why I've been acting crazy."
"Harlem." He looks stressed as he lets out a huge sigh of disappointment. "You know we can't keep it."
"But Christian, I-"
He cuts me off. "We can't keep it. We just had this conversation with the situation with your brother. We just don't have the time."
I could feel the tears starting to come. I know he's right, we just can't have another baby right now but I that doesn't mean I'm crazy about getting rid of it. "I know but-"
"Harlem, come on now. I'm tired I don't wanna have this conversation. It's stupid. We know what we gotta do." He lays back down and turns away from me. I turn away from him and lay down as well.
This is what I mean. Everything is so serious now. I remember when we were first dating again after I had Harmony. He used to surprise me with flowers at work and we would try and do anything we could to make Harmony and Jeremiah happy. We would do little cheap dates since we were saving up to get a place together, stuff like Paint and Sip at home. It was so fun, I was probably my happiest back then. Then, we got married, business took off for me, and things haven't been the same since. It's like the spark has been dying out for a while now.
—————
tiana's perspective.
monica - why her
I'm weak. I've been obsessing over this wedding since I saw the invitation, I just can't get it out of my mind. And since I can't take my mind off of it, I decided to ask him for a phone call so we could talk and clear some things up, and he said yes. That's why I'm pacing in my bedroom right now, waiting for my phone to ring.
I wait for 10 minutes before his call comes through, and I answer on the first ring. "Hey, Josiah."
"Hey Ti. What's up? You sounded really serious through text."
"Yeah, I just had some stuff to get off my chest once and for all."
"Go ahead. I'm all ears."
"I really don't wanna beat around the bush. I don't understand how you're getting married already. We haven't even been broken up that long." I blurt out.
"I thought we were cool? Where is this coming from?" He asks, confused. "We just had dinner."
"I thought the dinner was you asking me to get back with you. How could you move on so fast? Were you dating her when you were dating me?"
"Why does this matter, Tiana? I'm 2 weeks away from my wedding. Why didn't you say anything at dinner or when you got the invitation?"
"Can you just answer me, Josiah? Were you cheating on her with me?"
He sits on the other end, silent, for about 30 seconds. I already know my answer. "Yes." He says. "I was, but that's all in the past now. I want us to be friends, Tiana."
"Why did you choose her?"
"She was way more supportive of me and my dreams. You didn't wanna transfer schools, you didn't wanna free up any of your time to come to my games, you barely even said congratulations when I got drafted."
"Josiah, you didn't support me either! You never wanted to help me study, you asked me to give up my dream for yours, and you never wanted to make time for me! I cried to you about how overwhelmed I was and the whole time you were fucking somebody else! I can't believe you, Josiah. I really thought you loved me."
"Tiana-"
"Just save it. You just made it a whole lot easier to move on." I hang up on him and lye down in my bed, letting the tears flow. I really hate life sometimes.
