harlem's perspective.
I put Caleb back in his stroller, giving him a few more kisses before I strap him in. I hug and kiss Harmony and Jeremiah as well, before kissing my husband.
"Can I go with you mommy?" Harmony asks, giving me the puppy dog eyes.
"Not this time, baby. Next time though, I promise." I reassure her. I don't want to bring my kids back home with me just yet because I'm not exactly sure what will happen when I'm there. I haven't seen my brother in years and who knows how he feels or how he'll react?
My plane gets called over the loud speaker for boarding, so I pick up my duffle bag, hug my kids and husband once more and walk towards the gates.
—
a few hours later.
I stretch and yawn as I stand in front of some chairs, just getting off of the plane. I slip some sunglasses on my face to cover the bags under my eyes, then grab my duffle bag, which was all I brought with me for this short trip. I walk out of the airport, get into an Uber, and make my way to the house.
Once I get situated in the car, I call my husband. It's noon here, meaning it's about 9am there, so the kids should be up driving him crazy. He picks up after a few rings, with a lot going on in the background. "Hello?"
"You okay?" I ask him, laughing at him.
"These kids man.." I could tell he was shaking his head. "How you feeling?"
"Nervous. Stressed. I don't even know. I'm just ready to get it over with."
"Everything will be fine, I'm sure. Just don't let anything he says out of anger make you hurt or upset. He's only what, 8? And he's been through a lot these last few years at such a young age. Let him say what he has to say and feel how he feels. Y'all have plenty of time to rebuild the sibling relationship y'all used to have."
"You always keep me levelheaded. Who taught you to be this smart? Cause babyyyy when we was teenagers-"
"Stop playing with me." He cuts me off. I laugh at him. "Let me go make the kids some breakfast. Call me later ok?"
"Okay. I love you and tell my babies I love them too."
"I love you more. Call me if you need me." He says before hanging up.
Shortly after, I arrive at Tiana's mom's house. Although I decided to get a hotel for the weekend, I wanted to come straight here. I gather my belongings, thank the Uber driver, and walk up to the door. With sweaty hands, I nervously knock on the door.
Tiana's mom opens the door, smiling wide and immediately embracing me in a hug. "How are you?!" She asks, ushering me into the home.
"I'm good. Have you seen him yet?" I ask her. I drop my bag near the front door and begin walking into the living room to sit on the couch.
"Not yet. He should be here any minute. You hungry?"
"I'm okay. I'm just so nervous."
"It'll be fine, I'm sure. How are the kids?"
"They're so smart and getting so big. Caleb reminds me so much of his father I can't stand it sometimes."
"I got some stuff for them you have to remind me before you leave the state."
A knock at the door interrupts our conversation and I can feel myself tense up. Ms. Johnson gets up to open the door and moments later, comes back with Carter and an older white lady, whom I'm assuming is a social worker. Carter looks visibly upset and confused, and the air feels thick between us all.
It's so weird seeing my brother like this. I'm used to the toddler him, who I used to pick up from school and be able to do fun stuff like watch cartoons and eat junk food with. Of course, he's supposed to grow up but it's so weird.
"Hi, you must be Harlem." The lady with him speaks, holding out her hand for me to shake. "I'm Carter's social worker, Elaine."
I shake her hand and fake a smile. "Hi Elaine."
"I'm gonna let you and your brother speak as I talk to Ms. Johnson in the kitchen." She states. She nudges Carter to walk towards me and her and Ms. Johnson walks away.
I sit back down on the couch and Carter sits in a chair across the room. "How you been?" I ask him.
"Okay." He responds.
"You can talk to me, Carter."
"I don't even know you." He spits back.
"Don't do that." I calmly respond. "I may not have been around for the past few years but I did basically take care of you for your first few years of life."
"Yeah but then you left and mommy let those people come and take me."
"I didn't have an option. You don't understand. But hopefully when you get older you will."
"Don't understand what?"
"Mommy made me leave. And she had her own stuff going on. She couldn't take care of us and I was too young to take you in. I didn't know what was going on until it was too late." I try to explain to him.
"Well can I come live with you now?" He asks.
"I want you to, I really do, but you can't."
He becomes upset again. "Why do you keep leaving me?! Why did you come here?!" He raises his voice a little.
"Carter, I have 3 kids, a husband and a mother in law who is about to move in with me. My schedule is already busy and hectic and it wouldn't be fair to you or to my kids and career to bring you into my home. That's why you're staying here. But I'm still your sister and I still want the best for you."
He turns away from me without responding. I could only imagine what he's been through and how afraid he probably is. He's been bouncing from home to home, feeling like a throw away. I wish I could just take my brother in. Hopefully, though, when he's older and less angry, he'll understand.
Once Ms. Johnson and Elaine come back from the kitchen, I decide to leave them to figure out the logistics of his stay, while I go get him some necessities. I uber to the mall first to get him a phone and some clothes.
First, I walk into the Apple store. Even though Carter is young, I need a way to keep in contact with him, and I want to be able to facetime him and other things. I decide to get him an iPad instead of a phone, even though they basically have the same features, it just makes me feel a little better to get him an iPad. Most 8 year olds have iPads now anyway.
As I'm leaving the Apple store, I'm stopped in my tracks by a familiar voice calling my name. "Harlem? That's you?"
