harlem's perspective.
"So, what you wanna be when you grow up?" I ask Carter as he sits across from me in the diner,
"I don't know." He mutters. It's my last day here in New York and I don't want to leave without having some sorts of breakthrough. I don't want him to hate me or to feel like he can't talk to me. We've missed out on so many years, I would hate for us to miss out on more.
"Look, please get over the attitude. I understand that you had it hard but so did I. I never did anything to try and hurt you or anything but I had to get out of the situation I was in and there was nothing I could do. You had already been taken away before I was 18 and I was young and going through my own stuff so I had no way of helping you out. I'm trying to help now so either work with me or you're going to lose more time with me."
He sits quietly for a second, picking at his food, not able to look at me. I love my brother and want to see him in a good space, feeling loved and working through his past. But I can't do much with someone who doesn't want me to do anything.
"I think that you should go to therapy." I tell him.
"What's that?" He asks.
"It's when you go and sit with someone and talk about your feelings. Figure out what you feel and why you feel that way and how you can get over it. It helped me, and I think it will help you." I tell him. Before I got married, I went to therapy a lot. When I had my son, I got so busy that I stopped going but it really helped me out and is probably the reason my relationship with Christian is going so well because I got the help I needed.
"I don't want to talk to anyone." He calmly responds.
"You need to, and you're going to. I can't stay here forever so I will make sure that Ms. Johnson keeps you in therapy and doing other good activities."
He rolls his eyes and the rest of our lunch is silent. I really wish I knew how to get through to this boy.
After lunch, I take my brother back home to Ms. Johnson's house. I talk to her for a while, give him a hug and a kiss, and go back to my hotel to pack up so I can check out. I purposely asked if I could have a late check out so I wouldn't have to carry my bags around the city for the day.
My phone starts ringing and I'm hoping it's my husband, but instead it's Kyree again. I go back and forth with myself about whether or not I should answer, but I decide to do so.
"Hello?"
"Hey! You still in the city?" He asks.
"Yeah, about to be on my way to the airport though."
He sucks his teeth. "I was gonna ask you to hang out before you left. You got a ride to the airport?"
"I was gonna uber."
"I'll give you a ride. Send me the address of your hotel and I'll be there in no time."
"Ok." We hang up and I text him the address.
Once Kyree gets here, he puts my belongings in the backseat of his car then opens the passenger side door for me to get in.
"How was your trip?" He asks as he gets in the car.
"It was fine. I can't wait to get back to my family, though." I sigh, getting comfortable in the seat. I miss my babies, and my house and my husband. I need some real TLC when I get home. I'm talking about foot rubs and all.
"When you coming back to the city?"
"I'm actually not sure. Probably in a few months."
"Make sure to come visit me when you do." He chuckles and lightly brushes my thigh with his hand, sending chills through my body.
"Can I ask you something?" He asks.
"Sure. What's up?"
"Do you ever think about what could've happened between us? Like throughout the years have you ever thought about me? Or us?"
"Honestly sometimes, yeah. Not about getting back together necessarily but I have thought about you. But I wouldn't change my relationship for the world. I love Christian and I love our kids. I'm the happiest I've ever been with him."
"Well, I thought about you a lot. I know it was my fault things ended really. I could've reached out more and tried coming home more. But I was just so wrapped up in basketball and school, I wasn't thinking about anything else. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, Kyree, because it was on both of us. I couldn't put my pride to the side and reach out and I just let things fall through the cracks. But it doesn't matter now. We've both moved on."
"Who said I moved on?"
I get silent, not knowing what to say to that. I've moved on from Kyree. I'll always have love for him because I truly did love him back then, but I am in love with Christian and we have built an entire life together. I can't change the past and I'm not jeopardizing my future.
We arrived at the airport and Kyree carries my luggage into the airport for me. I get checked in and he hands me my luggage, then we hug. We pull away from the hug and linger for a second, then lean in a little. But, before we kiss, I stop myself.
"I gotta go." I hurriedly walk away from Kyree, trying not to look back to see if he was still standing there. I can't believe I almost kissed him and ruined everything. I gotta get home to my family and fast.
