Hating Noah

Chapter 26

Saturday morning.

It was the only time of the week when I had the chance to forget about my disturbing emotions and focus on only working.

I typed so many orders. I washed so many dishes, and I did manage to ignore the massive hole in my damaged heart. But deep inside, I knew that ignorance will not solve the situation, acceptance will.

However, it was too painful to accept the fact that I needed to stay away from Noah, and so I kept on ignoring every single thing that reminded me of him: the black couch, the vanilla ice cream inside the fridge, soccer balls, my Rocky t-shirts, even toilet papers, but you probably know how hard it is to avoid those forever.

When I realized where my thoughts were going, the cafe's heavy door opened and closed, and I was happy for the distraction. If I only knew that the so-called distraction happened to be Noah, I would have hidden beneath the bar for at least an hour.

But it was too late.

It's been a while(more like five freaking days) since he told me to stay away from him, and now he is here, walking over to me with a tall blonde clinging to his body, looking directly at me.

I felt betrayed and tried my hardest not to burst into tears when I noticed the way Noah was holding her hand. Or the way he told her with his low voice that she needs to order something sweet because he is going to taste her later, right in front of me.

I used to think that crying was the greatest weakness of humankind. 

Then Noah came around, and I figured that loving someone is the greatest weakness of humankind and that crying could maybe heal the deep scars caused by the ugly emotion called love.

And so I gave up on ignorance or even acceptance. And while Noah watched me with his emotionless green eyes, I decided to give crying a chance once I arrive home.

~~~~~~~~~

"It's so nice to hear your voice, Sky," my best friend declared on the other end of the line.

"Don't be dramatic, Viv, we talked yesterday in class."

"I know, but I feel like we don't talk enough lately."

I wasn't dumb. Vivian Smith called me because she was worried about me. For the past few days, I have been acting differently, and I thank God every day for giving me a friend who can see right through my cheap acts.

But I act for the simple reason that I am not ready to talk.

"It's because you are too busy with your boyfriend. I bet you called me because you are bored, and he is not around."

"You are right, Marcus is really not around, but you know exactly why I called you, Sky."

I stayed silent.

Each event that takes place in my life leads marvelously to a much more complicated one. If I tell Viv one thing, she will ask for more and trust me when I say that she will bury me and my secrets alive if I don't provide her with enough information.

But there was no point in telling her about my unsolved problems. I first need to figure out how to fix my messed up life. Then, I will tell her everything.

"Give me some time, Viv. I promise to tell you everything when the day comes."

~~~~~~~~~

I turned on the tv that night and decided to watch a cooking show. Even though I never enjoyed drooling over delicious meals with my lack of cooking skills, I preferred thinking of food much better than thinking of Noah's absence.

I came back from work to an empty house. Jacob was eating lunch with Daniel in the playground, and Noah was nowhere to be found.

Jacob returned home. Noah still didn't.

The people on tv were just about to serve the appetizer to the well-known chefs when I heard a phone ringing loudly from somewhere around the small basement.

I started looking for the phone, opening and closing doors, even drawers that could lead me to the person calling in the late hours of the night.

I checked every corner of the house before I found myself staring at Noah's bedroom entrance with a frown. I recalled the first time I stood in front of the wooden door, wondering if he will turn down my offer to clean his bleeding cuts.

As soon as I opened the door, I noticed Noah's ringing phone on the desk. A person named Owen ended the call before I had the chance to pick up and answer him.

I wanted to call him back and ask him if he knows anything about the reason Noah pushes me away, ask him about his past, his childhood. But the second my eyes landed on a drawing inside the familiar black notebook, I knew that I was close to finding the answers.

I recognized the man he drew. He was the same man we saw that night in the restaurant. The man who caused Noah's haunted look. The man who caused him to smoke more cigarettes than I could count.

Noah Adams looked exactly like his father.

"What are you doing?"

My heart skipped a beat. I quickly turned around to see Jacob leaning against the door frame, watching me with an unsatisfied expression.

"I- I heard a phone ringing and-"

"Did you open his notebook?"

"You know I would never do that, Jacob. It was open before I came in," he nodded and walked quietly towards me.

"His drawings are amazing, right?" he whispered, looking down at the notebook with admiration.

Noah's talent in drawing was absolutely beautiful.

"When I was sick, he showed me a few of his drawing techniques," he didn't wait for my answer and told me happily.

All I could do was smile warmly at him.

"Go back to sleep, Jacob, you have school tomorrow," I kissed him on the cheek and took his small hand in mine.

Once he was asleep again, I returned to my usual spot on the black couch. I tried to process the new information about his father while I was waiting patiently for him to come back home.

The clock showed 2:06 when I heard his footsteps behind me.

He spent the whole day with the blonde girl, and I spent the whole day thinking about him.

The tears were finally streaming down my face, my vision became blurry, and all I could see was him.

~~~~~~~~~

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