Hating Noah

Chapter 25

We returned home after the night at the restaurant with only one thought in our minds: Today was a challenging day, some sleep will not make it worse.

I put Jacob to sleep, listened to him breathe for a couple of peaceful minutes, then climbed the stairs found outside of the basement to meet with a heavy cloud of fog.

Noah refused to surround himself with some clean air and was determined to ruin his lungs by smoking boxes of cigarettes. He seemed mentally and physically unstable, standing there with his tensed shoulders and haunted look. The two things that made the drive home very uncomfortable and confusing.

And when we finally arrived, he handed us the keys, telling us to leave him upstairs on his own. Saying he needed some time and won't be back until after midnight. Apparently, dealing with the guilt coming with smoking lots of cigarettes requires effort, and more importantly, time.

"Can you please stop smoking for a second?" I popped his bubble, yet he chose to ignore my existence and took another deadly cigarette out of the last box he tightly held.

"Please, Noah, tell me what's going on."

"Don't make me think of you as a little girl, princess. You know I don't trust you enough to tell you anything."

It was sad hearing that the guy I trusted the most didn't trust me back, but the usual pain caused by his hurtful words didn't make an appearance.

Unfortunately, I was used to him pushing me away at all costs, yet I refused to accept the fact that he treated me like I was not capable of feeling. Like I was his freaking robot.

"You know how much I like hearing your sweet words, but I will be out of your sight if you just hand me the cigarettes."

His cold laugh in return, made me wonder who was the real robot out of the two of us.

"Touch them, and I will kill you with my bare hands," the empty look on his face created this weird pressure on my chest and made every inch of my body burn with worry for the mysterious guy. But no matter what he was going through, smoking wasn't the answer.

And so, with my last bit of energy, I stole his last box of cigarettes, not missing his shocked expression, and ran like I never did before. I heard him calling out my name in pure anger as his loud footsteps from behind provided him with a nerve-racking rhythm.

Just as I thought that I had a pretty good chance of reaching my bedroom without getting killed, I tripped on a freaking garden gnome and collapsed on the grass(which turned out to be less soft than I imagined).

When I touched the spot near my left eye that stung the most and saw my long fingers covered with fresh blood, my head started to spin. I gave up on standing up the second I saw the dreadful amount of stairs waiting for me.

Unexpectedly, I felt Noah's warm touch on my waist. I was off the ground in a matter of seconds, and when I realized that his plan included carrying me down the stairs and muttering some not so nice words under his breath, I placed my head on his hard chest, trying my hardest to get as closer to him as I could and capture his extreme warmth.

Not because I liked him or something, but because I was in pain, cold, and tired.

He held me tighter against him after I glanced up at him in fear, letting me believe that maybe, just maybe, he is not going to kill me after all.

Noah set me on the kitchen counter and began to create our famous white monster out of simple toilet papers and freezing water. I couldn't help but moan in pain as he pressed the wicked monster to the deep cut above my left eye.

"That's what you get for pissing me off," he muttered bitterly, not meeting my sleepy eyes.

"Shut up."

"Just give me the cigarettes," he held out his free hand, offering peace, while his other hand kept applying painful pressure on the cut, capturing the hot blood before it covered half of my face. The fact that he was there for me at that moment didn't stop me from snapping at him.

"Here, take them," I shoved the box into his chest, showing him my favorite furious glare.

"Die from lung cancer for all I care."

"That's your fucking problem. You care too much!"

"I don't give a freak about you and your stupid games anymore, I am done caring for-" his warm lips captured mine with a low groan. He was standing in between my separated legs while his free hand held the back of my head and pushed me harder against his soft lips. I could taste him, his anger, his interest, his fear. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't push him away.

It was the last thing I wanted.

I kissed him back, holding both sides of his perfect face, bringing him closer to me. He groaned once again before we separated to breathe. His bright green eyes were studying me, searching for something deeper than the wild smile on my face.

But God, I wish he knew there was nothing deeper than the fact that I was happy, just like that, with him.

Noah placed the white monster and the cigarettes on the counter beside me and leaned forward slowly. Surprisingly enough, he set his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly.

My favorite smell of cigarettes and lemons brought me complete comfort as I realized that I found the place where I belong.

I love him.

I love Noah Adams with my whole heart and soul.

"You have to let me go, princess," he whispered weakly in my ear, making my heart fight for his life. He probably noticed how hard I was shaking against his body, trying my hardest not to burst into tears, and pulled away from me.

"Look at me, Skylar. I am not worthy of you, and the last thing I want is to hurt you. Since I can't fucking control myself, I am asking you to stay away. Please, Sky, stay away from me," he begged me, taking my hands in his to try to stop me from freaking out.

I couldn't breathe.

How was I supposed to stay away from him after admitting to myself that I love him?

My heart broke into tiny pieces. Yet I had the terrifying feeling that the little pieces were too big for the guy I truly loved. 

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