Athazagoraphobia

Chapter 13

More tears made their way down his face, but he didn't bother to wipe them away as he turned back, looking John in the eyes. "I was 7-years-old when we first severely ran out of money. There was only so much I could do." Dean tried to calm himself down, but nothing he did worked.

Jack made his way over and gripped his Dad's hand in his while Benny placed a hand on his shoulder. Crowley didn't move, but Dean knew that was only because he didn't know how to reassure him.

"I was 7-years-old when I lost my virginity. I had to sell myself to men that were nearly thirty years older than me. All to make sure Sammy could eat. To make sure my son could eat. Cause that's what that kid really is. My son. Not yours, mine.

"Funny enough, not long after, you picked up on the same idea. Between all the beatings and taking care of Sammy, I was selling myself to drug dealers and getting raped by the same man who was supposed to love me, to raise me."

At that point, Dean was full-on sobbing and an eerie silence filled the bunker. "So, I don't know what part you think you had in raising us, but you have no right to call us your sons, to call yourself our father. I'm done with you."

John, who had been shocked at Dean's confession, finally came back to his senses. "What are you going to do, kill me? We all know you don't have the guts."

The other three in the room wanted to step in, to teach John a lesson, but they didn't, knowing that Dean needed to do this.

Dean smiled and finally wiped the tears soaking his face with his shirt. "No, I'm not going to kill you, but not because I'm scared to. It's because I know that you'll suffer if you don't have Sam and me under your thumb. I know that you'll be hunted down for the rest of your life." Dean walked over to John, leaning over him with a sneer on his now dry face. "I'm not going to kill you, because I want you to live a long, long life knowing what you lost; that we bested you." Dean stood back up and began walking back to the group.

"I'll just come back. You can't stop me. Your plan won't work," John called out. Dean couldn't tell if he really believed that, or if he was scared and bluffing, but he didn't care.

"No, you won't. You see, one of the perks of having a lot of powerful friends," Dean turned to look back at John, "is that most of them can erase memories. You'll remember the time spent here, but you'll have no memory of how you got here."

John had started to struggle once more. "You can't do this! I'm your father, you should respect me! You can't do this to me!"

Dean just ignored him in favor of walking up to his son, who also had tears streaming down his face. "Would you do me the honor?"

Jack just nodded and wiped away his tears. As he walked over to John, Crowley upped his hold on John so he could hardly move and he was silent. Once Jack placed two fingers on John's forehead, the man collapsed to the floor unconscious.

At the sight of the star of most of Dean's nightmares unconscious on the ground, no longer a problem, the hunter felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. His knees started to buckle and he fully expected to hit the ground, but he felt arms wrap around him and lower him down instead. "Easy there, cher. Don't need you hurting yourself."

Dean was exhausted mentally and physically. Benny tightened his grip around Dean as he laid his head on the vampire's shoulder. "I'm ok, just tired."

"I'd be surprised if you weren't."

Dean saw movement in the corner of his eye but didn't look up until he felt his husband place a hand on his knee. Looking past Cas, he saw Sam, Gabe, Rowena, and Mary all standing in the hallway just outside the Library.

Dean looked back at Cas to see tears bubbling below the surface of the ocean blue eyes he loved so much.

"How much did you hear?" Dean whispered, too weak to talk any louder.

"Everything. We got there right after you," Cas whispered back, a hand reaching forward and cupping Dean's cheek.

The hunter began to cry once more and he felt himself being transferred from Benny's arms to his husband's and he buried his face into the crook of Cas's neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Cas just rubbed up and down his back and held him close, whispering sweet nothings to calm him down.

Sam eventually made his way over and kneeled down in front of his brother and brother-in-law, Gabe following behind. After a minute, Mary and Rowena followed suit.

"De, why didn't you ever tell me?" Sam asked, grabbing the only hand not buried in Cas's shirt.

After Dean had calmed down, he gave Sam's hand a little squeeze. "You didn't need to know. It's my job to protect you. I did what I had to and I don't regret it. I only regret that I had to do it in the first place."

"But Dean, you didn't have to do it. You didn't need to starve yourself, to..." Sam trailed off, not wanting to think about the things his older brother suffered from to make sure he was ok and well-fed. "I didn't need three meals a day. I would've been fine."

Dean didn't say anything, only tucked his face further into Cas's neck, though Sam didn't miss the little squeeze in his hand.

Gabe started to glance around as if looking for something. He then looked at Crowley. "Do you feel that?"

Crowley nodded, taking a sip of his expensive Scotch. "John cast a spell to weaken you and feathers over there. He knew that it would be easier to kill you if you were weaker, but he had to get rid of us first." After another sip, Crowley continued.

"No one messes with the Winchesters without going through us first."

Gabe smirked, then gave the demon a mock two-fingered salute before looking back over at Dean.

Dean's breathing had slowed and his body had gone limp, his muscles relaxing for the first time since John had shown up.

"Dean has passed out. I'm gonna put him to bed. We should all get some sleep. We have a long talk tomorrow," Cas announced, easily standing up with Dean cradled in his arms against his chest.

Everyone else stood, looking around the room and nodding to one another.

"What about him?" Mary asked, drawing attention to the elephant in the room. Or rather, human garbage.

"I'll deal with him," Crowley announced before him and the condemned Winchester disappeared. Around two minutes later, Crowley reappeared, but without his cargo.

"He is now somewhere in Rhode Island. He has no memories of how he got here, only that he was."

Cas nodded, then trekked out of the room, arms full of his unconscious husband.

If tonight was a long night, tomorrow would feel like an eternity.