breathe

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jisung pov
i'm back there. at that house.

"you're nothing but a no good fag," my mother yells. "kill yourself already!" her screams getting louder.

my father beating me relentlessly. "PLEASE STOP!" i scream but he only hits me harder. i cant breathe. i try to run but i can't. i'm frozen in place, getting beat over and over again. "KILL YOURSELF," they keep yelling at me. i wish i could. but i don't even have the guts to do that.

"mom? dad?" jieun questions. "what are you doing to jisung?" she asks, her voice filled with worry.

"he's nothing but a faggot whys it matter anyways?" my father spat. her face suddenly turned from worry to disgust. oh no. please jieun not you too.

my father continues hitting me, cursing left and right. i'm really worthless huh? i should've never come out.

i close my eyes and suddenly i'm in bed? my father storms into my room and drags me out of bed by my hair. he throws me in the bathroom.  "dad, wha-?" before i can finish hes punching me. it doesn't end. please stop. my mother stands outside the door and watches. not an inch of guilt traced in her face.

now i'm in the kitchen. my sisters cutting up strawberries. this was the worst. she'd turned to me and told me to kill myself. i looked at her shocked, as this is the first time she's spoken to me since i came out as gay.

i felt so betrayed. i looked at her as she got up. she started walking towards me with the knife. she'd never, right?

she grabs my arm and cuts it. screaming. i got up and ran to the bathroom. little does she know, that started it all for me.

the voices in my head started screaming at me. i did as they told. i took a razor out of the pencil sharpener. i started cutting. the relief was addicting. i couldn't stop.

it was later that night and i was getting beat again. it wouldn't stop. father grabbed a knife. i ran out the door as quickly as i could. i ran through the rain screaming "IT HURTS. IT HURTS. IT HURTS. IT HUR-!"

"IT HURTS!" i sat up crying. minho opened my door and rushed to my side. everyone stood at the doorway watching with worried eyes. as soon as he was by my side i was hugging him while sobbing.

"it hurts hyung. it hurts so bad..." i continued sobbing.

"sungie, what hurts? can you tell hyung where it hurts?" he asked gently.

"everywhere hurts hyung." i sobbed louder. he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"let's go to the bathroom and calm you down, get up bubba." he said gently. "chan hyung go get water for sungie" he instructed.

as we got to the bathroom i looked in the mirror. i was a mess. i was all sweaty and my face was all puffy from sleeping and from crying. my hair was a
mess, tossed everywhere and sticking to my forehead. my eyes were red.

chan came back and handed me the water bottle. "i'm sorry for waking you guys up.." i said, lowering my head.

"don't apologize sungie hyung, you needed us. we'll always be here no matter what because we love you!" jeongin said. i nodded my head in response, starting to cry again.

after they got me to calm down minho instructed everyone to go back to sleep, so we could get a couple more hours before school. when everyone left he started climbing into my bed.

"hyung..." i started. he looked up at me.

"i'm sleeping with you so you don't have anymore nightmares." he said simply. with that i just nodded and laid next to him.

when i laid down, he pulled me closer to him. i started blushing and smiled as i hid my face in his chest. i felt euphoric.

when he fell asleep i looked up at him. "what are you doing to me hyung?" i whispered softly. he's so beautiful. his beautiful long lashes laid perfectly over his beautiful, cat-like eyes. his godly facial structure. his perfect nose. his perfect pink lips that look so soft and kissable-

and with that i felt myself drifting off. smiling happily in minhos arms.

gentlemen, ladies, and non binary babies (or gender neutral/ gender fluid babes) i love you all 💗

he's in the rain || minsung Unde poveștirile trăiesc. Descoperă acum