The Player

Chapter 8

It was Saturday night, and Niall was picking me up to go to the movies tonight. I decided on wearing my tan skinny jeans, a white flouncy tank top, with a red cadigan over it. I slid on a pair of floral flats and some bangle bracelets. I left my hair in soft loose curls. I decided on wearing my glasses instead of my contacts because Niall had said that I looked better when I wore my glasses. I did my makeup normally, and then put my wallet and phone into my cream clutch. A few minutes later Niall came to pick me up. I closed the door behind me and locked it before walking down with Niall. The movie theatre was pretty close to my housing unit so we decided to walk. 

"Nice night, yeah?" Niall asked after a bit a silence walking on the sidewalk. I looked up at him with a smirk on my face.

"You're asking me about the weather?" I asked him with a laugh. 

"Uhhhh, yeah?" he let out a cute little chuckle. I smiled again.

"That's like the most cliche awkward thing to talk about on a date." I said laughing. 

"So this is a date?" Niall asked me, catching me off guard. I let out a small laugh and playfully nudged him off to the side of the sidewalk with my shoulder. 

"I don't know. What else would you call it?"

"I don't know."

"Then this is a date I guess." Niall looked down at me and smiled. We made it to the theatre shortly after and bought out tickets, and some popcorn and drinks. We got into our seats just in time for the movie to start.

Once the movie ended, Niall and I threw away our trash and walked out of the movie theatre.

"That was a good movie." I said.

"Yeah, it was." As we walked along I felt Niall's hand wrap around mine. I quickly reacted by pulling my hand away.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"What? I can't hold your hand?" Niall asked with an almost hurt look in his eyes.

"Well, I mean, I just don't think we're there yet, like at that point." I said unsurely. I didn't know how to react without sounding like a total bitch. 

"Well isn't holding hands what people do on a date?" Niall asked. 

"Yeah, but we aren't dating each other. It's just different Niall. I mean holding hands just seems to mean more than what we have."

"Ella, we barely have anything because you won't even let me get remotely close to you no matter what I do."  

"I'm sorry, I just still don't know how I feel about you."

"Then what's it gonna take Ella? No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, you always push me away before I can get any closer. How the hell am I supposed to prove myself to you? I know you see good in me, I know you do. But you let what you think you know about me stop you. Do you know how hard it is to prove to someone that you can be good for them, especially when sometimes it seems like they have no faith in you? It hurts to love someone who just seems like they don't even care. And it makes me question why I even love them in the first place."

"Then maybe it's not meant to be." I said quietly. There was a moment of silence as the words settled in the air around us. He was right. I was letting my original thoughts about him stop me from letting him be closer to me. I saw the little things he did for me and I saw the goodness and love behind them, but I couldn't overcome the thoughts of who I had always known him to be ever since I first laid eyes on him. So I would push him away.

"I've been wasting my time, Ella. I'm done proving myself to you over and over again, just to be pushed away by you each time. What's the point of loving you anyway when there's no hope in you loving me back?" he stared into my eyes, almost looking for a response, a reaction, anything. But I gave him nothing. There were tears forming in my eyes. I stood there, frozen as a statue, not knowing what to do. After a few seconds he quickly turned from me and walked away, leaving me alone in the dark.