The Player

Chapter 19

My dad, Charlie, and I made it back to the house after spending a bit more time collecting shells at the beach. Charlie and I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting his seashells and putting them in categories from "coolest" to "weirdest", all while watching cartoons on TV. My dad had made dinner for us while we were sorting the shells, so once we finished we sat at the table to eat. We had hot dogs and mac n'cheese. After dinner and clean up, I had to go upstairs to pack, because I had a early flight back tomorrow morning. Charlie followed me upstairs.

"Why are you packing?" he asked when he saw me pull out my suitcase and start putting clothes in it.

"Well, I have to go back to school Charlie."

"School? I don't go to school."

"Yeah, you're not old enough yet. But I go to college. It's school, but I live there also."

"You live at school?" he asked.

"Yep. And you will too when you're much older."

"Whoa." I laughed at his amazement. "So you're leaving?" he asked, sadly.

"Yeah, I am. But I'll come back real soon." I said.

"Okay." I continued packing my clothes and Charlie sat on my bed and watched. I left shortly to get my things from the bathroom and returned to see Charlie taking things out of my suitcase.

"Charlie, what are you doing?"

"I'm unpacking." he said.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to leave." a sad look came across his face.

"Oh, Charlie." I walked over to him and sat on the bed, placing him on my lap. "I'll come back, I promise."

"But what about when you aren't here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I won't have no one to play with."

"Why not?"

"Mommy is always busy, and daddy is always working."

"Oh, well do you have any friends to play with?" he shook his head.

"Well, I'll visit often, and I'll make sure I have days that are just for playing with you. Okay?"

"Really?"

"Yes. It'll just be me and you."

"Okay!" he said. I smiled.

"Now help me repack all these clothes." We finished packing my clothes into my suitcase and then went back downstairs. My mom and Spencer had come over at some point while Charlie and I were upstairs, and they were talking with my dad in the kitchen. I walked with Charlie into the kitchen, his small warm hand in mine. 

"Hi Mommy. Hi Daddy." Charlie said to my mom and Spencer. 

"Hey bud, how was the day?" my mom said picking him up in her arms. 

"Fun! I wish Ella could stay here with us." he said. Everyone looked over at me and I smiled awkwardly. 

"Well she has to go back to school, Charlie." 

"I know, but she said she would come back a lot to play with me. Just me and Ella." 

"Did she? That's so sweet of her." Charlie nodded. I knew my mother was looking at me, trying to get me to look at her, but my focus was on the freckle cheeked little blonde boy in her arms. I looked at him smiling, and he eventually looked over at me and gave me a smile in return. I finally brought my eyes to my mother who was still looking at me. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't glaring either. She had a calm look on her face. 

"Ella, can I talk to you in the living room for a second?" she asked. 

"Sure." I said. I followed her into the room. She turned towards me and crossed her arms. 

"So, Charlie seems to like you a lot." 

"He's a great kid, mom." she nodded. 

"I'm glad you think so. I was afraid, based on your first reaction of him being my child, that you wouldn't accept him."  

"I know I came off in a bad way to the news, but it wasn't because of Charlie himself. It was because of the fact that all this time you've been gone, you've been with another guy and had another child. I don't understand why you left when you already had that here. You had a husband who loved you, and a child who loved you too. But you go and find a new man and have a new kid. It's almost like we weren't good enough for you." 

"No, no. That's not it at all Ella. I love you and your father both. But I've told, I fell out of feelings with your father and I met Spencer. Charlie wasn't planned, he just happened. And I'm not afraid to say that I'm glad he did. To be honest, I think he's brought this family closer together, if anything." she made sense and I agreed with her. "And if you haven't noticed, this is the first time this weekend that we are talking without yelling at each other." 

"I noticed." I said. There was a moment of silence, and I sat down on the couch. "That doesn't mean I forgive you though." she came over and sat next to me on the couch.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me. I'm just pointing out that I think we are on the road to improvement with our relationship." 

"Yeah, I guess so." I said, looking at my mother. She opened her arms and went in for a hug, but I shied away from her. She had a look of disappointment on her face. 

"Ella, I am trying to make this better. I'm trying. But you are not helping when you do that." 

"I know. I just don't want it to feel like hugging a stranger." I said quietly, but loud enough that she could still hear me. 

"You'll never know unless you take the first step." she said. I looked at her and she had a longing look in her eyes. I took a deep breath and then opened my arms. She came closer and wrapped her arms around me. It was a much longer hug than I would have wanted, but at least it didn't feel like hugging a complete stranger. My mom finally let go and I pulled away. 

"Not so bad, right?" she asked smiling. At least it was fully satisfying for her. 

"No, not so bad." I said, and I couldn't help but crack a tiny smile. She stood up from the couch, gave me one more smile, and then walked back into the kitchen. I sat there for a little while longer, my chin buried in a pillow being clutched to my chest. I guess my mom and I were on the road to improvement.