One Shots

Longing - Dean Winchester

"Anasazi symbols keep Wendigos away." I write down in my notebook as I read it from the book. Then I tilt my head to both sides, cracking the bones in my neck. It was like 6 in the morning. I had woken up early because I couldn't sleep. Sam was having breakfast in the other room and Dean is God knows where.

Castiel and Jack had gone off to hunt two days ago somewhere in South Dakota, they checked in last night, saying they were hunting down a werewolf. We haven't heard from them since but I'm sure they're OK.

Sam gave me this notebook once, told me to write down stuff about each monster I've encountered or probably will. He told me to keep it with me, so if I needed any information about vamps or anything I could find them from there. It was, well is, a good idea but I'm starting to regret it since I have so much to write and my hand is already hurting.

I heard a door open and close and soon enough Dean was walking down the stairs. His hair was a mess and he looked pleased. He had probably ran off with another girl last night. Wouldn't be a big surprise. Sam greeted his brother with a, "rough night, huh?". Dean just gave him a smug smile as a response.

"You smell like sex, take a shower." Sam urges before entering the room I was in. Dean ran his fingers through his hair and nodded. "Yeah, I should."
Then he headed down the hallway to his room. It didn't take long for me to hear the shower turn on.

I bite the tip of the pencil in my hand.
I've had a crush on Dean as long as I can remember, probably since we met and he saved my life. He on the other hand hasn't shown any interest in me, which is understandable. What's there to like? Nothing really. He likes pretty girls with good bodies and experience in sex. I'm not any of those.
But your girl can dream. And that's what I've been doing the past months. Fantasising.

It just makes me sad that those will never come true. I always get nervous around him, which he probably haven't even noticed. Typical of him. And also this whole thing is eating me inside, because I can't tell anyone about this crush. It would probably ruin relationships. How do I know? Like Sam... How could I even begin to tell him? "Hey Sam, uh, I have the hots for your brother, I hope you're okay with it."

I should just get over these ridiculous feelings for him and continue my life without having this continuous longing and ache in my heart.
Sam suddenly sat down on the chair opposite me and said, "you seem distracted. Are you okay?"
I snapped out of my thoughts. "Huh?"

"I asked are you okay?" Sam chuckled but there was a little concern in the way he looked at me.
"Oh, yeah I am." I flashed him a smile, that faded away quickly.
Just don't suspect anything please, just walk away.

"All right. But you know you can tell me anything, right?" Sam asked, his voice almost like honey. For a second there I wanted to spill my secret but then I remembered why I couldn't. I nodded slightly as a response.

"Good." He said, and with that got up and walked over to the bookshelves again. He's always reading and going through different books in the library when we have a day or two off. He likes learning about different monsters walking on this earth. The most important part usually is how to kill them, though.

We've sat in this bunker for three days straight now and it's starting to get to me. I switch the books to a laptop and start going through news on websites. Deaths or murders that don't seem to be human. Like a heart missing or throat ripped out, or anything similar.

Some time had passed and suddenly Dean walked into the room, with only a white towel hanging around his hips. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of beer from the closest table and then walked away. And oh man, was I mesmerized. He wasn't there no more than 15 seconds but it was enough for me to start my fantasies again.