Euphoria

Epilogue

Anti looked down at his brother's still body, wondering when he would wake up from the sedatives the doctors gave him. Chase wasn't even close to recovery, but Stacy agreed to let him see the kids every weekend as long as he went to rehab, and talked with her about his feelings.

The demon still didn't understand why feelings were so important, but he had a hunch that he would realize that soon enough, even if he fought it. Sean had made him know that every moment counted, and when he stabbed Dark, he felt like his own ties had been cut. His past wasn't following him anymore.

Of course, he regretted it, but doesn't everyone regret their past? Something that they did keeps them up at night, even if its something stupid they did in high school that one time like doing a keg stand and puking their guts out afterward. Not that Sean had done that back then. He was just another rocker in a band he thought was cool. "He was good at the drums, though..." Anti mumbled.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Chase was now awake, sitting up in the hospital bed.

"Just..." Anti's cheeks reddened. "Nothing. Never mind. I was just thinking. How are you doing?"

"You were just thinking about how I was doing? I don't play the drums, bro."

"Just shut up and answer the question."

Chase chuckled dryly. "Sorry. I'm feeling like shit... Two people I love are gone--"

"I meant physically, idiot. I don't want to hear about your problems."

"Oh. In that case, I still feel like shit. Thanks for asking, dude."

Anti rolled his eyes, a hint of a smile curving on his lips. "You're welcome. I'm going to check on Sean, okay? Stay here."

"I can't really go anywhere, man."

Anti laughed mockingly, leaving the room and heading to Sean's, his hands buried deep into his pockets. He wanted to know about Chase's problems, but he knew that he would regret asking later on when he was alone, and it could sink in. Maybe when he was ready emotionally, enough to take on another burden, he would one day ask him how he felt. Until then, Chase was very good at burying his feelings, and it wouldn't be easy.

Anti raised his hand to knock. "Knocking? Really?" He felt stupid, but after a couple of minutes of pep-talks, pacing, and determination build-up, he walked in, confused to see Sean up and about.

He was staring out of the gigantic window to the left of his bed, his expression thoughtful.

"What the hell are you doing? You've got a concussion, stupid." Anti said, moving around the bed and over to him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"I know. But the events of yesterday... I can't... I can't sleep. I lost someone again. It just keeps happening."

Anti knew what he was talking about, and the swirling clouds of regret formed overhead again. "It wasn't your fault, Sean. None of that... What happened to him wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it, though? I dared him to do it. And then I based a part of me off of him like an idiot because I missed him."

"You what?"

"Chase. I thought of him because of Sky. They're alike but still different. I fucked up, didn't I?"

"I'm not going to say you didn't, but if Chase wasn't... Chase... Then things would be different. Just don't base anyone you make off of a dead friend again, okay? I'll have to kill you." Anti half-joked, staring out the window with him now.

"What's going to happen now? Things have changed. Everything has changed."

Anti shook away the line that was stuck in his head from Sean's very first video, shrugging. "I'm not sure. But whatever happens, happens. We'll all be here for each other. And you can bet your ass I'll be there to save you all over again."

Sean stayed quiet for a moment before looking over at him. "I thought you hated circles?"

"Yeah, well. I guess not all circles are bad, are they?" Anti turned his head to Sean and they both gave each other knowing looks. It was as if the barrier between them shattered and they were finally able to understand each other better. "I still hate you, though. Rest assured, you egotistical little shit."

"And here I thought you were starting to like me!" Sean smacked Anti's shoulder before rolling his eyes, the awkward moment starting to fade and realization setting in. He'd lost two of his brothers only last night. The pain was undeniable, and he'd have to share it with them for the rest of his life. Yet somehow, the pain didn't break him.

"Hey, Sean?"

"Yeah, Anti?"

Anti let out a sigh through his nose, listening to the faint noise of twittering from outside as he watched a small bird land on the feeder just outside the window. "How long until this ache in my chest disappears?"

"Do you want my honest answer?"

"Yeah."

"Not for a long time. But I can promise that everything will be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But it will be. Eventually."