Hajime is still sad-sequel to Freak Like Me

Retrying And Comfort

  (what's with all the 'R' titles.)(me publishing chapters the second I'm done writing them, I-) (Is this angst I don't know probably)

 

  Angsty also possible trigger warning there's some dark subject matter I think

   HAJIME POV

   I don't understand. Did I do something wrong? Should I go after him? 

   I cautiously approach the bathroom door. It's locked. I knock softly. 

   "Ah, hey Nagito? Are you alright?" I call. 

   I hear heavy breathing and the tap running from the other side.

   "Hey, are you okay?" I demand. Still no answer.

   Suddenly the tap shuts off and the door flings open. Nagito nearly collides with me in his hurry to get out.

   "Ah, Hajime, you startled me! Please forgive me, for ruining such a wonderful moment." He wheezes, bowing his head.

   "You don't have to apologize," I assure him, "but is everything alright? You were just...suddenly extremely stressed or something."

   He lets out a deep breath. "It's nothing," He smiles at me, "then, should we continue where we left off?"

   I frown. "A-Are you sure?"

   He nods determined. "Yes, if you'll have me."

   "O-Okay."

   NAGITO POV

   What the hell was that? I can't believe I made someone as precious as Hajime worry over someone like me. The least I can do is repay him with an enjoyable experience.

   I grab his wrist, feeling quite adamant, tugging him towards the bedroom. 

I turn around and lay down on the bed in front of him, limbs spread. 

   "Nagito, you don't need to do this if you don't want to..." He says.

   'You're just worthless trash. You're just a toy. You could at least try and satisfy me.'

   "That's right...I only exist as a toy to others." I mutter.

   Hajime looks confused. Ah, I said that out loud, didn't I. 

   "Uh, Nagito...?" He says cautiously. I look him in the eyes.

   "Use me. Use me for your own pleasure. Do whatever you want to me, as long as it makes you happy. I'll do anything you want. Humiliate me, hurt me, anything you want. That's the only thing I'm good for anyway" I say determined. 

   Ah, there's tears running down my face. This isn't good.

   Hajime looks shocked and bewildered. Like...he doesn't know what to do, how to react. 

   Finally after what felt like an eternity, he sits down next to me and pulls me into a sitting-up position.

   HAJIME POV

   What am I supposed to say? What does anyone say in a situation like this?

   Something is clearly troubling him, making him feel and behave like this. What exactly happened while we were apart? 

   "W-What are you doing? Don't you, don't you want to use me for your own personal pleasure?" He sniffles. 

   I stiffen. "What-no, I would never treat you like that, what are you thinking? You don't deserve to be treated like that, or force yourself into uncomfortable situations. No one deserves that." I say gently, taking his hand.

   Has he been traumatized by something? Maybe PTSD? (I intend to research these for the purposes of this story) But if I at least knew what the problem was I could help him better.

   He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. I don't say anything else, what can I say? All I do is squeeze his hand and try and offer him some silent comfort.

   But what happened to him, to make the once confident, dominating boy who has turned into the fragile shell of his former self?

   Finally, he let's out a loud sigh. "Hajime, I'm sorry you had to witness something as disgusting as that." He says shamefully. 

   "Hey, don't apologize. I just wish you wouldn't think so lowly of yourself. You're worth so much more than you believe, please." I respond, determined.

   He chuckles darkly. "Look at me, making someone like Hajime fuss over someone like me. I really am trash, like they said." He mutters.

   "Who? What happened?" I demand anxiously. 

   He doesn't answer me. He must still not be ready to talk about what happened while we were apart and I thought he was dead.

      "What a crappy reunion I've made of this. I should go." He sighs, going to stand. I grab onto his arm, keeping him on the bed with me. 

   "It's not ruined. Let's just...enjoy each others company for now. We don't have to speak, let's just...sit together, alright?" I suggest in low, hopefully-soothing voice.

   He looks conflicted for a moment before finally nodding, not bothering to speak. 

   I lean into him, wrapping my arms around him. He immediately sinks into me and I hold him tight.

   I suppose that's all I can do for now.

   Nagito is haunted by his past.