How to Survive (LGBTQ+)

The Closet

Oh, the closet.

Every lesbian's nightmare.

Have you ever seen an amazing girl that you wanted to talk to but felt you couldn't? Or since you weren't 'openly' gay, you couldn't talk about girls (like Hannah's new MDK WHICH I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF AT)?

Yeah, me too.

And the thing that really sucks, is that you can see a girl and picture totally irrational things like dates, and you see her walk out of the room on a guy's arm.

Oh.

Straight.

Right.

Silly me.

And for me, the worst part is justifying and applauding myself that I didn't take a chance.

Good thing you didn't talk to her. She wouldn't like you anyways...

But how the hell could I know that for every woman I see? 

I'm not scared of women. I have to admit I'm scared of negative responses.

I'm scared of rejection.

I'm worried about not being rejected, and having to trust a stranger.

But girls? 

Nah, I can't be scared of them. I love them too much. 

Wayyyyy too much. I'm what you would call a 'lady killer'.

*Trips over speck of dust* Haha. Ok. Maybe not. 

I need to focus.

Ok.

The closet.

As I was saying, you start getting asked questions about boys. It's like all people want to talk about is your future boyfriend, and how cute you'll be together, and how they can 'set you up' so you can finally be dating someone. But there's a little voice in your head that speaks as they ramble on.

"You should tell them," It says, giving you a little nudge to just get it over with.

"Nice try. You'll lose someone close to you..." Another voice chimes in.

The person continues to ramble on as you start to panic, your palms getting sweaty and your breathing becomes labored. You excuse yourself at the first opportunity and put your head in your hands, freaking the fuck out.

The closet isn't easy.

The closet engulfs you in darkness, strangling your neck as you try to leave. 

But with every person you tell, the less of a hold it has on you.

You start to physically feel better.

You sit with the cute girl instead of watching at a distance.

You don't have to make awkward talk about guys.

But if it's so freeing to be out of the closet, then why do so many of us live in fear, telling no one?

Because it's safe in there.

Nobody knows.

So yes, you make uncomfortable talk about attractive guys like always, but that's better than losing respect or losing loved ones.

Isn't this weird?

You could lose someone you cared about because you are attracted to the same sex.

How fucked up of a world do we live in?

Why should I have to hide myself?

Every time someone talks about guys to me I freeze up.

Don't get me wrong, I love guys.

But I don't want to sleep with them or date them.

Oh, the closet.

The true definition of a double-edged sword.

If it's safe, you might as well get stabbed by being yourself.

Maybe I'll talk to the girl.

Fuck whoever looks down on me because of it.

Maybe I'll tell my family soon.