How to Survive (LGBTQ+)

I did a thing

So, today I did a thing. 

No, Mom, I didn't sell my kidneys on the black market.

  I was at my cousins' house today, and I said "Fuck it, I'm telling your mom." Well, I didn't use such foul language, because I know the entire country would somehow hear, but I did it.

I freaking did it!

I was nervous, and almost backed out of it, and I thought I was going to faint, but I said it, it's in the open, I grew a pair and did it. 

Before telling my aunt, I knew the outcome would be positive, but I still was a little nervous, because, believe it or not, coming out is really, really hard. But sometimes, sometimes you need to just blurt it out and let someone in and see what's eating you alive. 

"Is there something you two are hiding from me?" My aunt asked as my cousin glanced at me and giggled nervously. 

In acting, particularly improv, there's such a thing as a perfect set-up for a line. Well, I saw it, and I told her. She didn't believe me at first, and thought we were playing a joke on her.

"Stop laughing then!" She said to us, and I was delirious with stress and anxiety so I erupted into laughter. 

"Well, I'm proud of you, but I have to ask...are you absolutely sure?"  She asked me, as my cousin practically bit her hand off from stress for me. 

"Yes, I'm positive. It's one of those things that feels right, even if you don't want it to." I said, and explained, in detail, to her. 

"You need to remember, this is a big surprise. I had no idea or clues; most people in the gay community aren't that flamboyant, regardless of stereotypes. Your immediate family may say some things or say they want to go to therapy, or send you to therapy; you shouldn't get hurt immediately. The words might hurt, but you have to let it roll off your back." At first, I wasn't sure about this advice; I mean, people say what they mean, in my opinion. But I thought about it, and she had such a great point. It's going to be hard, if you haven't come out yet. Being gay isn't easy, but it's fun.

If you live in an accepting environment, that is. 

But to have so much support and love is fucking awesome; and she asked me a bit about the stress that the closet puts you in.

"How long have you been holding in such a huge secret, honey? Doesn't it just weigh so heavy on your mind?"

"You have no idea. It's been nine months." I replied, informing her of everything. 

Moral of the story: you might want to faint, or cry, or scream, but the closet is so suffocating. You need to come out when the time is right. Procrastinating is only going to hurt you, and you don't want the feeling of dread following you every minute of your life. 

So go do it. Be free.