Bugsy's Baby

Chapter 17

They had just finished another steak dinner and Johnny was getting frustrated. Bobby's waterworks just wouldn't shut off. They were sitting around the kitchen table when Minnie appeared with another pail full of diapers. "Well, I guess that is it," he sighed, "We will have to put off the bank job for another night".

"Duh, but boss..."

"What can we do? We can not snuff out the little fellow and he knows too much to leave behind." Minnie was fixing Bobby another bottle of apple juice from the half-empty container in the fridge. There was another full container behind that one and an empty apple juice container on the counter waiting to be tossed in the trash. "Why, that little so and so..." Johnny's eyes lit up and he climbed the stairs two steps at a time. 

Minnie finally realized what she had been doing and ran after him. "Johnny, Stop!" she pleaded when she reached Bobby's room. Her lover was struggling with the crib side, trying to unlatch it. She tugged his arms away and he turned to face her. "It's not his fault, Johnny, please," she shook him, "he didn't mean it. He's sick!"

Johnny was raging but Minnie finally got him to calm down enough so he could talk coherently. He turned to Bobby in the crib and wagged his finger at the terrified adult baby. "Just you wait, little man, when this is over you and I have an appointment with the board of education."

Bobby smiled at the man through his tears, "Thank you, Daddy."

"Bah!" Johnny snorted and turned to leave. "And no more diaper changes tonight," he commanded his mate, "It will serve the little whippersnapper right if he gets a rash!"

The next morning Bobby's digestion was better but he was a miserable companion with his burning diaper rash, and Johnny, Jack and Sam finally snuck off leaving Minnie and the crybaby behind. When they returned five hours later Bobby was in a better mood but Minnie was at wit's end. Johnny had presented her with the catch of the day, a whole stringer full of fish to clean and cook. "I'm not doing that!" Minnie exclaimed as she dumped the fish in the trash, "I'm not cooking at all!"

The trio looked at each other and then Bobby spoke up, completely out of character. "I know a place that delivers," he said in a man's voice, "I even know the owner". He waddled towards the refrigerator and retrieved the menu. Jack and Sam shrugged. Johnny thought for a minute. He was still not sure if yesterday's episode was a plot or not. "Yeah, alright," he said at last, "but no delivery, Sam will take you into town and you can pick the order up."

Bobby froze when they entered the dinner and the chime rang. The dinner crowd had thinned out but Sheriff Grainger was in uniform in a far booth. Their eyes met for a minute and Howard put his finger to his lip. Luckily, Jennifer came to greet them and confirmed their order before Sam had a chance to notice. "HI, Robert, who's your friend?"

"Duh, my name is Sam" the dimwitted man volunteered before Robert could stop him.

"Um, this is my cousin, Sam," Robert confirmed, as if he had a choice, "He's my cousin, from Wisconsin."

"Oh, sure!" Jennifer said as she slapped the man's arm, "Martha told me you had company."

"Um, yeah, they've been visiting for a while," and then he added, glancing in Howard's direction, "They'll be leaving on Saturday."

"Well, I hope you've had a pleasant visit, Sam," She said over her shoulder as she retrieved their order. "Here you go," she smiled, presenting them with a large bag of carryout," Three fried chicken dinners, a tomato surprise and three hot dogs."