distance🖤 - mattia polibio

"complete control"

"NO NO NO NO!!" 

"PLEASE I NEED YOU!" i screamed.

in front of me i saw mattia laying dead in his car. i tried to help him but i felt like i was chained up. all i could do was scream. i tried moving my arms but they wouldn't budge. my breathing got heavier and i was crying so much i could barely see anything. i kept crying and trying to get to him until i felt someone shake me.

-

"baby wake up"

"it's okay i'm right here , please wake up" 

i heard his voice and sat up so quickly and he turned on the lamp.

"hey it's okay , breathe" he said holding my hands.

i took a deep breath and looked at him. i was so sweaty but i felt cold. my heart was beating so fast and i was trying to control my breathing. 

"your sweating , i'll turn on the fan-" 

"no i'm cold" i said quietly and he immediately wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his chest.

"try and match my breathing okay" he said , rubbing my back.

i listened to him and i could feel his heartbeat so i used that to help me slow down my breaths.

after a few minutes my breathing was almost back to normal and i had stopped sweating. 

"i'm gonna go splash my face" i said and got up and went to our bathroom. 

i turned on the tap and splashed my face with cold water. i saw the clock and it was almost 3am. i dried my face off and stood at the counter for a few seconds. i walked back into the room and mattia wasn't in the bed. i walked to the living room and saw the kitchen light on. 

"what are you doing?" i asked him.

"do you wanna drink it on the sofa or in bed?" he asked holding two mugs of hot chocolate.

"sofa" 

"okay come" 

we went and sat on the sofa and he put the mugs on the table and grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me and then sat next to me.

"what's going on baby" he asked and i looked at him a tear fell down my face.

"i can't sleep properly anymore" 

"what happens?" 

"in the hospital , everytime i'd close my eyes i kept replaying our argument and i couldn't sleep. i didn't tell you because i thought it would go away now that you're here. but i had a nightmare and it felt real and i didn't know what to do" i said quietly and he put his arm around me.

"i can't lose you mattia" i said.

"you're not gonna lose me y/n i promise. i'm right here and i'm not going anywhere. if you need me to hold you all night until you fall asleep until these nightmare's go away then that's what i'll do. you mean everything to me and i feel useless because i don't know what to do to stop the nightmares. we can go to the doctors?" 

"not yet , if they don't get better i will. i'm sorry mattia"

"sorry for what??"

"you're meant to be resting not waking up at 3am because of me-"

"i don't care what the fucking time is , if you need me i'm gonna wake up okay" he said.

i looked at him and he looked at me too.

"i love you mattia polibio" 

"i love you y/n polibio" 

"stopp that sounds so good" i smiled.