Deranged (Completed)

Chapter 4

Hurt, I did as he said and left his bed. I wanted to cry, I made Gage mad at me. After an hour I got up and went to the bathroom.

Plugging the sink I let the water run until it almost reached the top. Putting my hand behind my head I pushed my head under the water and drowned myself a bit.

Not too much, just to the point where I was partly breathing in water. Then I lifted my face up and coughed out the water.

Gage's dad and Gage didn't wake up from the coughing luckily. Looking in the mirror my face was red and dripping in the water I had tried to drown myself in.

I deserve the pain of drowning. Gage was mad at me, I didn't want to die yet though.

My God was mad at me. I earned death, but I didn't want it. Anything else would do, even watching him from afar and not by his side.

Sighing, I pushed my head under water again. This time I let myself drown more, but my body fought against our end and made me lift my head up to face myself in the mirror.

"You made him mad, you deserve death. You caused him to be unhappy, you deserve death. You can't handle taking care of him, you deserve death. You...aren't enough for him, and for that you deserve to live and watch him be happy with others." I said to myself through the mirror.

It hurt me to say everything. Why couldn't I be enough for him...? Because I'm nothing better than everyone else, Gage was a god, and we were his people.

'Why am I not enough for you Gage? You're my world, so why am I not yours?' I asked myself.

Drying my face I laid back down in my bed and thought of how to make it up to Gage. I couldn't have him mad at me.

My heart was starting to hurt at the fact that he was mad at me. Even after 4 years he was still hung up on his mom, I thought getting rid of her would make him happy...

"I'm sorry Gage, I thought it would make you happy." I whispered and watched as he turned to me, "What?" He asked confused

I was startled at the fact he heard me, but that fact he did, broke me, "I'm sorry Gage! I just want you to be happy!" I cried, wiping my eyes.

Gage got off his bed and sat next to me on mine, "Hey, I'm sorry. I know you like being around me. This was the wrong way to go about it, ok? I'm sorry." He said, panicked at my reaction.

"Why don't you like my attention Gage?" I asked, sniffing.

"I do Patton. Just, we're 15, we will start to be interested in people and I want you to explore that. Not to just cling to me." He explained.

"I'm happy by your side Gage. Just by your side is where I'm happiest." I said desperate for his approval.

"Patton you could be happier if you do your own things." He tried nervously.

"No Gage." I said staring at him, "I just want to be by you." I said leaning against his chest and sighing.

"What do you mean?" Gage asked, confused.

"Gage you saved me from my mom. She always said that only God could save me! You save me Gage...you saved me Gage." I said nuzzling against his chest.

"I don't understand." He said looking down at me.

"You're God Gage, and for God I would do anything. Anything you could ever want me to do, I would do it for you." I explained smiling at the fact that I was finally being honest with him.