Just This Much

17: Talk

Lilac has been very relaxed and well-rested the past few days, that she feels like the lack of tasks is something quite forbidden. After the countless of times her group has been on hiatus, all they've wanted is to work on something—an album release, preferably. And her being on vacation, feels like something she shouldn't be doing.

But she has been busy with other things lately—brand deals, advertisement shoots, photoshoots and other things not every idol get the privilege to have, and that somehow comforted her. She deserves this, especially this chance to be with her family.

She went back home four days ago, and the very next day, she travelled to Phuket for a five-days-four-nights vacation with her parents and some relatives. It is currently their last night and tomorrow morning, they are bound go back to Bangkok. Only another hour later, she will fly straight to Seoul.

Yeah, she deserves this. With the hectic schedule that awaits her for the next months, she shouldn't feel guilty about this. Finally, she will do something as an idol. Though she feels a bit nervous about staying in yet another foreign country, she still feels more excited than anything else.

Who would have thought, huh? Only three years into her career and she's set to be a mentor for future idols. It felt surreal when her manager told her about the CEO's approval, because that rarely happens, knowing how strict the woman is when it comes to K4RMA's TV appearances.

She is confident she can do well. She's certain her skills and experiences are enough to guide who could possibly be the future generation of KPop. No one knew what she had been through—mentally, emotionally and physically—to conquer her insecurities and gain this high esteem for herself. 

The members and her parents helped her a great deal, but it was mostly due to her efforts. She finally reached the point where she is confident she can do anything and she owed the world nothing. She's happy and she just wants to share this happiness to the people dear to her, the people who loves her.

"Don't be out too late, we have to get ready early tomorrow," her mom reminded in Thai, before kissing her cheek. Her dad also left a peck on top of her head before the pair went to their room, and left her out the cabin's terrace.

Only the faint sounds of the waves from the beach kilometers away and the repetitive croaks of the hammock she was lying on, as it was being swayed by the wind, can be heard. She missed the peace Thailand had always given her, but she's also very thankful for the bustling excitement South Korea had brought to her life. The two places made her into who she is today—the Lilac Ayutthaya living the best of both worlds.

She smiled to herself and reached for her phone. She first replied to the usual stubborn 'how are you?,' 'what are you doing?' and 'can you buy me some of this' texts from her members, before opening another recent message from someone she just recently got close with.

From: Soonho
You're coming home tomorrow, right?

To: Soonho
Hey you, don't be too obvious on missing me LOL.

From: Soonho
Can't I?

She was a bit stunned. The guy is slowly having some guts, huh? Again, she smiled to herself. She finds Soonho adorable. Well, other than the fact that he's really cute—which is common knowledge—he's also such a softie, and incredibly caring. She knew of his little crush on her, she's not dumb and insensitive. Though his attentiveness might be because of how she is in front of him.

She tends to appear bubbly and bright off-stage, mainly because she's with the members who kept babying her, and it's the side she tends to show to the fans most of the time. Her other persona—the voguish, no-nonsense side—is more similar to her attitude on-stage, and she prefers this side when she's with her male friends. It's not like she's doing it to impress them—hell no, that's just gross. She just naturally adjusts to the mood guys bring.