Clandestine (COMPLETED)

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WARNING: Includes themes that may be sensitive or triggering such as abuse/depression/self harm. Please read at your own risk

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F L A S H B A C K 

What causes miscarriage?

According to the internet, miscarriages can sometimes occur because of genetic issues, long-term health conditions, infections, etc. Some are unfortunate enough to encounter accidents that leads to miscarriage. Mothers felt bad when this happen. They blame themselves. But it's not their fault. 

So why is Destine hating herself so much right now?

She closed her eyes as she tried to sleep, but every time she tries to, the image of her parents flashes through her mind.

It was just a simple day. She and Clarendon decided to continue decorating their baby's room. She wanted to buy something and Clarendon insisted on buying it himself but Destine insisted. 

Destine is already on her 16th week mark. She won their bet. Their baby is a boy. She already has a name for him and when she told Clarendon, he ended up tearing up like a child.

Clarence Louis Bauer.

She's sure as hell that their baby will take after his father.

After buying some stuff, she was about to go home when she got a message from her Mom.

Mom:

Anak? Are you busy? Uwi ka muna saglit. I want to give you something that your baby might like :)

Destine didn't even wonder why her Mom couldn't meet her in person. Of course she can't go anywhere without getting a permission from her Dad. Her Dad's really scared that one day, her Mom will leave him.

Devils have their own weakness.

As soon as she arrived at her parents' house, she wanted to throw up. It's been so long since she stepped inside this scary place, everything suddenly felt so foreign. 

Destine looked at their wall and smiled bitterly when she saw that their old family picture is nowhere to be seen. Her Dad really kicked her out of this family huh? It was a good thing she has the Bauer's and her own family now.

She doesn't need him.

Destine's train of thoughts was cut off when her Mom appeared behind her.

"Sweetie" she smiled a little. Destine nodded.

"Sorry, I was about to go home but you texted. What is it?" Destine asked.

Beth glanced at the paper bag she was holding and nodded. She handed him a gray elephant stuffed toy. Destine's lips parted, recognizing it.

"I...I gave this to you on your tenth birthday, pero ipinatago mo na lahat ng laruan mo when you reached 16" Beth smiled, "I just thought your baby would want to have this when she or he grows up"

Destine felt a pang on her chest. She blinked thrice and got the plushie from her Mom. She gave her a small smile.

"Thanks, Mom" she said, "The baby is a he, just in case you'd like to know"

Her Mom smiled widely, "Can I hug you?"

Destine stared at her mother and her heart ached when she saw some bruises on her left shoulder that she tried so hard to cover with make up. Destine nodded. Beth stood closer and slowly enveloped her daughter in her arms. Destine bit her lower lip to prevent herself from crying.

"Bethany!"

Beth immediately let go of her daughter when they heard his voice. Destine froze on her spot. Rupert adjusted his glasses and was looking straight at his wife, npt even glancing at his daughter, "I need to talk to you about the project that you failed to take care of"

Beth looked at Destine and faked a smile, "Stay for dinner?" she asked hopefully. Destine shook her head.

"Clarendon's waiting for me" she said in a low voice.

Beth was about to say something when Rupert called her again, louder this time. Beth flinched and Destine saw how her Mom's hands trembled.

"Go now, Mom. Aalis na rin ako"

Beth smiled and caressed Destine's arm before going upstairs.

Destine waited for a few minutes before deciding to go. She was about to open the door when she heard a loud crash coming from her father's office. Her eyes widened and she hurriedly went upstairs and opened his father's office only to see her mother on the ground holding her cheek while papers and a broken vase are scattered around.

"What are you still doing here in my house?" he asked. Destine didn't answer and instead went to her mom and helped her stood up.

"A-Ano pang ginagawa mo dito?!" she asked, alarmed. Destine's brows furrowed.

"What did he do again?!" Destine asked but before Beth could answer, her Dad grabbed her Mom away from her. 

"Leave" he said while holding Beth's arm tightly.

"I'm not leaving until you let go of my mother" she asked in gritted teeth. Rupert grinned.

"You call her your mother when you left her here all alone?" he asked.

Destine didn't answer.

"G-Go now, sweetie" Beth faked a smile, "I'm okay"

Destine glared at her mom.

"Mom, I'm not three years old, you can't fool me" she said.

"Leave now, Destine. You won't like it when I get mad. I still have to talk to your useless mother"

"I don't like you even when you're not mad" she said and Rupert suddenly slapped her hard making her fall to the ground.

"Destine!" Beth exclaimed and held Destine's arms. Rupert pulled Beth away from her with so much force that Destine forced herself to stood up to stop him but he pushed her away so hard that she ended up slamming her body to one of his wooden tables. Destine cried out loud, clutching her stomach. Destine was about to walk forward again when she saw blood dripping down her legs.

"A-Anak" Beth called. Rupert's eyes widened.

Everything felt like a blur. The next thing she knew, she was being rushed to the hospital, her mother holding her hand tightly. Destine kept on crying. She wants know if her baby is okay. She wants to know if nothing happened. She wants to know if her baby's safe.

"Love"

She opened her eyes and saw Clarendon kneeling in front of her. He gently wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry" Destine whispered and sat up. Clarendon shook his head.

"Nagso-sorry ka na naman" he said. Destine looked down. He sat beside her and kissed her forehead.

"It's not your fault, okay? I'm not blaming you"

Destine closed her eyes.

"I could've protected him, you know?" she said. Clarendon didn't answer and just pulled her closer, his own tears falling.

Destine loves Clarendon so much. But the love she has for their child? It was different. It was something she never expected to feel. She vowed to love and protect him, to give him everything even if she's scared to be a mother.

But he was gone too soon.