Clandestine (COMPLETED)

44

F L A S H B A C K

Destine was used to the feeling of being sad. She grew up without any siblings, and she was a product of a failed marriage. At such young age, she knew that she will live her life getting used to being sad and it was fine. Being sad seems a lot easier than being happy. Whenever she's sad, she'll stare at the stars above, distracting herself.

Sadness was her bestfriend.

But seeing Clarendon sad? She suddenly hated it.

Destine stared at Clarendon as he tried so hard to hide his sadness. He was forcing to laugh at the show they're watching. She knows he's faking it. Because they both hate this show.

Destine stood up and turned the television off. Clarendon's brows furrowed.

“Hey, I was watching that, you know!”

Destine raised a brow.

“Stop it” Destine said.

“Stop what?” he asked.

“Acting like you're not hurting”

Clarendon's fake smile disappeared.

Suddenly, his tears fell.

Destine sat beside him and pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around him.

“It's okay to cry” she said, “You don't have to bottle up your feelings. It's okay to be sad”

She kept on saying things to comfort him. She wishes...she hopes...she can do that as well.

Clarendon loved Marjorie so much. And she wanted him to be happy to the point that she told her Dad that she doesn't want to marry Clarendon.

“What did you just say?” Rupert Celeste, her father, the man she looked up to before, asked.

“I don't want to marry Clarendon Bauer” she said.

Rupert's brows furrowed.

“I hope you're joking, young lady” he said as he gathered all the documents on his table. She tried so hard not to get scared. She knows whenever he does that, it means he's trying to be patient, but he's on the bridge of getting angry.

“I am not” she said, “I don't want to marry Clarendon Bauer” she repeated.

She closed her eyes when her Dad stood up and angrily threw all the papers at her. She bit her lower lip to prevent herself from crying.

“Take that back” he said, “You two are getting married next year and you're telling me that you don't want to marry him?! Are you stupid?!” he shouted.

No, Dad...she wanted to say. I'm tired.

Tired of seeing Clarendon suffer. Tired of  following orders. Tired of everyone. Of everything.

“I don't want to hear this nonsense, if you mention this again, I'm kicking you out of my house”

Destine opened her eyes and looked straight into her father's eyes, gathering all her courage despite her hands and knees trembling.

“I don't want to marry Clarendon Bauer”

Rupert angrily marched towards her and slapped her so hard that she fell on the floor. Suddenly the door swung open, revealing her Mom who had her eyes wide opened as soon as she saw her daughter on the floor.

“Honey!” she exclaimed and quickly went to Destine and held her arms.

“What are you doing?!”

“Well, apparently, your daughter wants to back out from the wedding” he said through gritted teeth, “She doesn't know what will happen if their wedding won't push through. She's stupid—”

“That's enough, Rupert”

“No, it's not enough!” he exclaimed and was about to pull Destine when her Mom pushed him away.

Destine stood up, not caring if her face hurts because of the slap. She looked at him again.

“I don't want to marry Clarendon Bauer” she said before leaving his office.

-

Destine inhaled deeply before calling Clarendon. After three rings, he answered.

“Hey, lovebug” he joked.

Destine blinked profusely.

“Belle?” he called her second name.

“Pinalayas ako” she said.

It took him a few seconds before he managed to respond.

“Where are you?”

Destine glanced around the place.

“It's cold here. I forgot my jacket. I really should stop forgetting my jacket since I get cold so easily—”

“Destine Mirabelle, I'm not asking about the fucking weather, I'm asking about your whereabouts”

Destine played with her fingers.

“I'm at our favorite coffee shop...”

“Don't go anywhere. I'm coming to fetch you”

Destine ended the call and pulled her luggages closer. She tapped her feet to the ground as she stared at the countless messages she's receiving from her mother. Destine threw her phone inside her bag and closed her eyes. She couldn't even cry while she was gathering her things. Maybe because she was tired of her life. She didn't feel anything while her mother was crying, asking her to stay.

She opened her eyes when she smelled a familiar scent. Her eyes met his. Clarendon kneeled in front of her and held her hand.

“You okay?” he asked.

Destine faked a smile, “Oo naman”

Clarendon held her hand tighter and looked at her straight in the eyes.

“Someone told me to stop bottling up my feelings. That it's okay to cry...”

He grabbed his handkerchief from his back pocket and covered her face.

“Cry. If you're afraid that I might judge you, then I just won't look”

Destine sobbed. The tears that couldn't escape her eyes finally found its way out. She cried so hard. Every tear that escapes reminds her how tired and hurt she is. She cried like her life depended on it. For once, gusto lang naman niya maging masaya. Was that too much to ask?

Clarendon pulled her closer, her face buried to his chest. He placed a soft kiss on her head as he caress her back. It was the first time he saw her cry, and it broke his heart. She's the strongest person he know. And seeing her at this state makes him want to protect her from every pain in the world.

“I'm here” he whispered, “I'll always be here for you”