inTOXICated

inTOXICated part two

It had been two months since you had spoken or seen Jungkook. You tried not to think about him, though that was easier said than done. After you had seen him with that other girl, you went back to your dorm and balled your eyes out. Chae had walked in on your breakdown and did her best to comfort you. It wasn't much help. Jungkook had broken you again. You gave him back your heart and he took what was left and turned it to dust.

You had not spoken to him since that day. Not that you didn't want to. You wanted an explanation or at least an apology but you couldn't bring yourself to demand it. You felt so weak. You felt like a ghost, walking around but feeling like you were getting nowhere. Chae did her best to cheer you up. She hated seeing you upset. But she also didn't understand where it was coming from. She didn't understand why you went back to Jungkook, after that last time, she could never see what hold he had on you.

You told yourself you didn't want to talk to him- you didn't want to see him. The idea killed you inside. You wanted to move on. You wanted to forget Jungkook, and never think about him again. If only it was so easy.

You were sitting on the edge of your bed, reading a book when Chae walked in. She seemed more... upbeat than she usually was. Skipping into the room, a bright smile on her face. She gracefully fell onto her bed, staring at you with bright eyes.

You peaked over the edge of your book, not sure if you wanted to ask or wait for her to just tell you what was on her mind. "So..." She started, giddy with joy. "The big Halloween party at the Bangtan house!" She spoke as if she was asking you about it, but you knew she was telling you.

"And? What about it?" You looked back down to your book. You knew Chae well enough to know what she was playing. And you did not want to get into it. The last thing you wanted was to spend your weekend at some stupid frat party. Bangtan was known for being a party frat. Full of a bunch of dudes that were too attractive for their own good. Maybe that was why Jimin joined...

Chae jumped up, taking your hands in hers. "We're going, Idiot. No questions." Her eyes were bright with excitement. It was as though she was doing you a favour.

You pulled away from her. "I don't want to go to some stupid frat party." You crossed your arms over your chest, sticking your left lip out in a pout. It was childish, you knew that. Not that you cared.

"Oh, shut up. I'm sick and tired of watching you mope around. It's been two months. You need to get out. I can't watch you fall apart like this." She definitely didn't get it. Things came much easier to Chae. She took everything so lightly, she never got truly attached in relationships, so if one ended, she just waited around for another. To her, it was no big deal. She wasn't like you.

But to you, relationships were important. It was hard for you to accept feelings and to allow yourself to be with someone. You had been burned so bad by your past, that opening up terrified you. You had told Jungkook things you couldn't even tell Chae- that you hadn't told anyone. You felt like he knew you and understood you. He'd been through similar things in his life, he could relate.

Where Chae couldn't, she could never understand the darkness you had faced in your past. Jungkook did. And watching him hurt you over and over again, well it just made you want him more. You wanted to prove that someone could want you. So, you held onto him with everything you had. Even if that meant destroying yourself in the process.

You brought your body back to lay flat on your bed, looking up to the ceiling. "Chae..." You glanced at her in the corner of your eye, begging her to give into you.

She didn't. "No, we're going shopping tonight for costumes and we're going." She sat next to you, taking your hand in hers and holding it tight. She really knew how to make you give in. "Please... at least try."