Shits and Giggles

Iris

Song: Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

TONI POV:

I look at Cheryl. It's been about 4 months and we finally had our son. Well, Cheryl had him I just kinda sat there in shock not knowing what to do. "So! Do you still want to name him Francisco?" I ask quietly. Cheryl looks at our son. "No." She laughs a little. "So what are we gonna name this little creature?" I ask quietly. "What were some of the other names we talked about?" I take a deep breath. "We both liked Nathan." I say quietly. "What about Tyler?" She ask. "Do we have to give him a generic name?"
I ask a little annoyed. "You're right. So that's a no on Tyler or Nathan?" She ask quietly. "Maybe Nathan but definitely not Tyler I hate that name." I say quietly. "So, Nathan something Topaz?" I nod. "Yes his middle name is gonna be the word something." I say sarcastically. She smiles. "What should his middle name be?" She ask. "Oh! Kurt!" I say perking up. "We are not naming our son after Kurt Cobain!" I nod. "Ok." I whisper. "Luke." She whispers. "Nathan Luke Topaz?" I ask. "No. Maybe we should stick to our first choice." I look at her. "Fred. It's nothing really special but I don't hate it." I shake my head. "I think we should give him a name that if he doesn't like his first name we can use and have different options with." I suggest. She looks at me. "Something like the male version of Elizabeth! Look at Betty! She can go by a million things with her name." I explain. "Like William?" I nod. "I like it." I smile. I kiss her. "And now we're married so we don't have to fight over who's last name." She smiles.

I walk out of the hospital room. I walk into the waiting room. Everyone stands up. "It's still a boy." I say smiling. "7 pounds 6 ounces." I tell them. "Can we see him?" Mom ask quietly. "Not yet. He's ok and Cheryl ok! But Cheryl just wants some more time alone with him." I explain. "What's his name?" Betty ask smiling. "Nathan." I say quietly. "Middle?" I take a deep breath. "To be determined. We thought we had a name but I realized how much I hated it and Cheryl agreed." I explain. "Ok." I walk back into the hospital room. "Hey!" I smile. "Can you let me hold our son?" I ask quietly. Cheryl nods. I sit down at the chair. She hands me Nathan. "Hey! Bud!" I smile. The doctor walks in. "Is this your first kid?" She ask quietly. "Cheryl yes but for me no." I say quietly. "Do both of you know how to change a diaper?" She ask. "Yeah." Cheryl says. "Has he latched?" She nods. "How's your incision healing?" The doctor ask quietly. "I feel like I've been ripped in half." Cheryl answers. The doctor smiles. "Yeah that happens when you have a C-section. Have you come up with a name?" We both nod. "Nathan." I whisper. "Does he not have a middle?" I shake my head. "Not yet." Cheryl says. "Ok! You'll have to figure that. I just came in to see how you were doing. Do you guys have any questions?" The doctor ask. "Can you make sure my mom doesn't come in here?" I ask quietly. "I just don't want to have her telling me how to raise my kid." She nods. "And can you send my sister in?" She nods again. "She's the short one who looks like the teen girl version of me." She goes and gets Sarah. "Why aren't you allowing mom in here?" She ask quietly. "Because it's mom." I whisper. She looks at Nate. "He's cute." I nod. "Wait until he starts crying." I whisper. She smiles. "I'm a sister. Like actually this time."

"Cher. We can't take him home until we give him a middle name." I whisper. "David!" Cheryl blurts out. "You know what? I'm so sleep deprived and at this point we could make his name fart and I would say yes! Is he really hates it, he can change it." I say before writing it down on the the paperwork. "Wow great parenting." Mom says quietly. "This is why I didn't want you around my son." I say pissed. "Get out." I say pushing her out of the room. "Did you have to do that?" Cheryl ask quietly. "Yeah." I whisper. "

I walk into Nate's room. He's sound asleep. "Please promise me you won't fuck everything up like I have? You're to special. You need to become better than everything I've become and continue to be." I whisper. I rub his cheek. "Also you're too cute to fuck this up." I say quietly. "Also if you're gonna join the military, join the Navy or something that isn't the army." I whisper. "Toni? Really?" Cheryl ask quietly. "Yeah." I say quietly. "I'm scared." I say freaking out. "Why?" She ask concerned. "I'm afraid my dad's alcoholism is gonna catch up with me and I'll become a shitty father." I whisper. "So stop drinking and go to an AA meeting!" She says quietly. "But I'm not an alcoholic." I say confused. "Than go to the ah... Al-Anon meetings. Jason and I used to go when my parents were still alive." She tells me. "What's that?" I ask quietly. "It's for kids and families that have been effected by a parent or family member who drinks. It's also good for people who aren't sure if they are an alcoholic and don't feel like going through the steps of AA." Cheryl explains. "There's steps?" I ask quietly. "In AA? Yeah." She nods. "Like what?" I ask. "Get a sponsor, I don't really know what else. I think apologizing for all the shit you put people through is one." I nod. "But go to Al-anon. I think Jason goes still goes to one that he likes. I think he just helps out and it might be for teens only, if it is he probably knows a place." She explains. I look at Nate. "I just want to be a better dad than I was to Sarah." I whisper. "You were, and are. Given the circumstance, you did pretty good. You have a bunch of money saved for her when she goes off to college and starts her life! You made sure she was always happy, even when you weren't! You didn't really help her with homework and stuff only because half the time she was helping you!" I smile at the last part. "You walked her to school everyday, when you're parents were fighting you would pick her up from school and take her out for Pizza or go to Pops with her. You made sure you called her as many times as you could to say Goodnight while you were away! You made sure you said goodbye to her before you left. Toni, you might not have been able to raise her as your own but what you did for her, I don't think she can ever repay for that. And I know you can do the same for Nathan, and this time you'll have me." She explains. "You think?" I ask quietly. "You are gonna be amazing." I nod. "Don't let me fuck this up, if you see me slipping do something about it even if I refuse to let you."