Shits and Giggles

I Gave You All

TONI POV:

I walk into Sarah's room. "Hey." I knock quietly. She doesn't look at me. "Sarah. I'm sorry about the past few days. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I had a hard week." I whisper. "You picked me up and put me outside of your room." I nod. "I know. I-." She interrupts me. "You missed my birthday." I look down. "Sarah..." I sit down next to her on her bed. "Cheryl and I broke up and I kinda lost my mind and I let it out on you." I tell her. "Sarah. I love you." She Ignores me. "Sarah. Please." I whisper. "I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you. Anything you want or need! I'm not bringing you to Florida or anything but we could go to the city or something. I just want my sister back, you're like the greatest person ever come into my life. Please forgive me." I beg. She takes a deep breath. "Take me to Walmart." She says looking at me. "What?" I ask confused. "Take me to Walmart I want candy." She gets off her bed. "That it?" I ask quietly. "No. But I don't know what else yet I'll get back to you on that. "Can we go to CVS instead? It's closer." I ask quietly. "No." She whispers. I nod. "Ok. I'll go grab my keys." I say getting up. "How many things will you do?" She ask. "Ahh... everything you want to an extent for a week." I whisper. She smiles. "Ok than I want to be carried." I sigh. "You're 8." I tell her. "Than I don't forgive you." I groan and pick her up. "You're lucky I love you and consider jumping in front of a train for you." I walk downstairs. "Mom! Sarah and I are going out!" I yell. "Ok! Be safe." I nod. "Yup!" I grab my keys.

Sarah walks over to me and dumps a bunch of candy in the basket. "Mom is gonna kill me." I tell her. "You know that right?" She nods. "Anything else?" I ask quietly. Before you ask where I'm getting the money for all of this, I have a job I work in my dads shop. I don't work the same hours but it's whatever. I also babysit my mom's friends daughter who's a few years younger than Sarah. She pays more than she should every time she comes home from whatever party, drunk. So she kinda just throws money at me. I have money set aside for Sarah, it's not a lot but enough to help pay for a car or her wedding or something. "Toni!" Sarah pulls my shirt. "What?" I ask snapping out of my thoughts. "Soda." I sigh. "Not a big thing! I'll get you a small bottle or can." She nods. I look at what candy she got. "Ahh! Sarah?" She looks at me. I pull out the PayDay. "You can't have this! There's nuts in this." She pouts. "I know." I whisper. She puts it back and grabs something different. "More M&M's." She smiles. "Anything else?" I ask quietly. "Milkshakes." I sigh. "Ok. I have to go get some stuff first." She nods. We go to the register. I cover Sarah's ears. "Can I get a pack of cigarettes?" I ask quietly. "ID?" The cashier ask quietly. I show him my ID. "I'm sorry you have to be 21." I sigh. "I'll turn a blind eye. Only because you're cute." He winks. "My sister is right here." I whisper. "I also have a girlfriend." He nods. "25 bucks." I hand him my card. "Also all this candy." I say dumbing it out. He nods.

"Anything else?" I ask quietly. "I wanna watch anything I like." Sarah says. "Fine. But in my room and if mom or dad walk in you're asleep." She nods. "Unless you're watching SpongeBob or something for kids." I say quietly. We go into my room and watch tv for hours. Sarah burned through all her candy. I get a call from Cheryl. "Hello!" I smile. "I'm outside your window." She whispers. "You can go through the front my mom likes you!" I say smiling. Sarah jumps on me. "I've told you a million times not to do that!" I say to her. "What?" Cheryl ask confused. "Sorry Sarah if being a nudge!" I laugh. "You can come through the window but don't expect anything!" I tell her. "Or you can just knock on the door." I whisper. "I don't feel like going up through the window. I'll be there in a minute." She hangs up. "Who's that?" Sarah ask quietly. "Cheryl." I smile. "I thought you guys broke up?" She ask confused. "Yeah but we got back together." She smiles. "Ok that was gonna be my next demand." I nod. Cheryl walks in. "Cheryl!" Sarah jumps onto her. "What did I tell you about jumping on people?" Cheryl carries her to the bed. "What's up?" I ask quietly. Sarah goes back to watching tv. "Nothing just wanted to see you. See she forgave you." I smile and look at Sarah. "Yeah." I smile. "I have to do everything she wants for a week though. That's why we're watching Friends. Mom doesn't want her watching it because some stuff is to inappropriate." I whisper. "The whole Carol and Ross thing?" I look at her. "No! Like Chandler not wanting to except his dad as his mom." I say. "Why would she hate the Carol and Ross thing? It's just a little weird. Not being gay-." She stops me. "I know what you mean. But I honestly didn't know if your mom was like ok with the concept of the LGBT community." I smile. "Sarah?" I ask. "Gay rights!" She says. "Yup!" I look at Cheryl. "My mom took me and my ex to pride because she wanted to rub it in my homophobic cousins face that she supports me." I explain. "You and Fangs?" I nod. "Yeah believe it or not. We were the ones not wanting to go. Sarah had fun. Right?" She nods. "She got cotton candy. Nothing could go wrong." Cheryl smiles. "What about your dad?" She ask quietly. "He's not 100% ok with it. But he also doesn't really care enough to be unsupportive. Like he thinks it's a choice but he doesn't really think it's a bad choice. You know?" She nods. "Your dad is weird." I nod. "Definitely." I smile.  "How's the whole Mary Jane and Molly thing going?" She ask quietly and using the other word for weed. "Down the toilet and off my phone. I just have to worry about school. I don't think I need any help right now. We'll see after I go back to school." I say sadly and so Sarah doesn't hear me. "I'll be ok. Even if I'm not." I whisper. She rubs my cheek. "You need something to take care of." I look at her confused and motion to my sister. "Besides her." She kisses me.

I wake up to a poking on my cheek. I open my eyes to see Sarah. "What's up?" I ask quietly. "School." I sigh. "I'll be down in a minute."
I whisper. She walks out closing the door behind her. I roll out of bed, literally and have a panic attack. I don't know why. School has been harder than before, so much pressure. "Toni?" Mom walks. "I can't- I can't go." I whisper. "I thought I could." She nods. "I know." She kneels down in front of me.

"Where have you been all of last week?" Coach ask pissed after my panic attack, I didn't go to school for another week. Well, I went for like 2 days and didn't get out of bed for the next 3. "I had some family stuff." I lie. "In college you won't have time for family stuff! This is the second week in a row!" He yells. "You're off the team." He says putting his clipboard down. "You were supposed to be the star quarterback! Captain! Now it has to go to Archie. Not you! You are my best player and I can't keep letting this shit slide. I know you have your issues, but I can't keep supporting you." I hold back tears. "I'm sorry Toni." I take off my jersey. "Have fun getting to the championship without me." I say pissed. I walk out of his office, grab my shit and leave. I get in my truck and go home. "Rob?" Mom ask. "No. Me." I say walking into the kitchen. "You're supposed to be in school." She whispers. "I'm done with school. I got kicked off the football team which means I have no chance of getting a scholarship, which means I'm not going to college because I'm to stupid to get in on my own!" I yell. She walks over to me. "I have nothing." I whisper. "You're not stupid Toni." She whispers holding my cheeks. "Than explain why I'm failing all of my classes." I whisper. "And don't say it's because I'm not trying hard enough because I'm trying! I study and study and study! Nothing." I start crying. "I feel like a failure." I whisper. She pulls me into a hug. "Let's get you into bed."She whispers. We walk up to my room. I lie down and she lies next to me. I just sit there and cry. Mom puts on the tv and we watch whatever comes on.