I Don't Want To Be In Love

Movie Buddies

Ming wasn't sure if he was in heaven, hell, or a combination of the two.

Pha was currently setting up sleeping bags and pillows on the floor - the pillows were Yo's - while Yo dug through the bag of groceries Pha had gone out to pick up. There were bottles of pink milk, iced coffee, tea, packaged sandwiches, individual cakes, microwavable noodle bowls, and more of the onion soup for Ming. Ming wasn't sure why they were doing this, but he certainly wasn't going to complain. As long as he had the two to himself for the weekend, he wouldn't ask for anything else.

He could pretend for two days that they were his.

Yo turned to him with a wide smile, handing him a bottle of ice coffee. "Mocha, right? You still like chocolate?"

"Yeah," Ming felt touched Yo bothered to remember that about him. Ming had only started liking chocolate flavored things when he'd fallen for Kit.

Then they'd gotten together, and the picture perfect dream soon warped into a dizzying reality - for both of them. Neither had thought about what it would be like to be around each other for hours on end. Kit was so used to being chased, and Ming was used to chasing him. So when they became official boyfriends, it was as if they stared at each other cluelessly, thinking 'Now what? Where do we go from here?'

Kit had wanted what they had to be something from a drama. The two leads get together, they kiss, happy ending, credits. Simple, right? Nope. Ming had wanted fireworks, passion, and adventure. He wanted to show Kit off, declare to the world that he was Kit's and Kit was his. Even their first time they had been at odds, arguing about whether to be passionate and fast, or take their time getting to know each other's bodies. Surprisingly, Ming had been the one to want to make slow, tender love to Kit. Sure, he was boisterous and loud outside the bedroom, but once inside, he wanted to take his time and worship Kit from head to toe the way he believed the older deserved.

To give them both what they wanted, Ming took the edge off Kit's desperation by going fast and hard like Kit wanted, then drove him out of his mind with the slow lovemaking, drawing such pleasure from Kit that he was incoherent for hours afterward.

Every difference they had after that had come to a head after Kit accused Ming of wanting an unrealistic romance.

"Are you fucking kidding me??"

Kit's eyes widened a fraction and he took a half step back. He'd never seen Ming get mad so quickly before. "Ming-"

"I'm not the one with unrealistic expectations from this relationship!" Ming's voice turned strained, eyes full of frustrated tears. "You want some picture perfect romance that actors portray on screen, and that's your problem! You don't want to be in love! You want to be in love in a movie!" Ming dashed his tears away, unable to look at Kit anymore. That face he'd fallen so hard and fast for...now the source of his anxiety and stress, making him doubt himself so much more than anyone else ever had. "Reality check, life isn't some grand movie where you get a happily ever after and that's it! You keep working at it and working at it, because things go wrong! But that doesn't matter in the long run because you have each other!" It was only then Ming looked Kit in the eyes again, not surprised to see his own pain and sorrow reflected back at them. "I'm a human being with real feelings and emotions, not a damn actor, KitKat."

They knew what was coming, and had fought against it to no avail. They were too toxic for each other. Their relationship was poison, slowly killing them until there was almost nothing left of their old selves.