7. The Beginning of Disaster

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Trigger Warning: Suicide

"Do you wanna run away with me?"

What? It has been a week since last time we met, and suddenly he came here only to say this. I  looked at his brown iris, it didn't look like he was joking at all. He was being serious.

"What do you mean?"

"You heard me, Less. Run away. Let's get away from here."

I examined his appearance. He wore a t-shirt with brown leather jacket and jeans. His hair still was not dry yet after shower. But beneath that neat appearance, there was clear weariness in his eyes as I could clearly see his red eyes above that large dark circles.

He continued, "I've prepared enough money for the us to survive for the next few years until I get a job. I can also support you to transfer to a new school."

What the hell is actually going on? "You came and asked to leave all of a sudden. Why do we have to run away? where are we going to go?" I asked, completely perplexed.

"I wanna flee, away from here and start a new, clean life. But I can't do it alone, I wanna save you too. I just learned that there's no future for us if we stay here." His explanation didn't answer my question at all, but rather raised more of it.

The drizzling rain started to fall. Currently, we were in front of my house, his big motorbike parked near us. "Your mother hasn't been home two days in a row, right? I know why and what she's been doing. She must have agreed with my plan, because this is the best for you."

Calvin knew? How did he know? I don't even have slightest idea about any of it.

"If you agree, we'll leave tonight. I promise I'll tell you everything. Everything you want to know."

I felt tempted by his offer. But no! I can't leave Mama alone. No matter what, I can't just leave her. Especially without saying goodbye.

"I'm sorry Cal, I can't. I can't leave mama alone," I refused softly.

He couldn't accept my answer.

"You still trust her?" he asked with a bewildered look on his face.

"She never opened up to you at all and left you for days without any explanation. Whenever you asked questions, she always ignored you. She can't even tell where your dad is. She's not around at parents' meetings, when you won science olympics, when you performed at art shows, when you received outstanding student awards, when you can't get rid of those negative thoughts, or when you're depressed! she's never around when you really needed her! Yet you still believe her?"

My eyes got teary. I can't deny everything he said.

"Of course, she's my mother after all," I said with trembling lips.

"Mother, huh?" he chuckled softly, totally in contrast to the bitterness reflected in his eyes. "Then, after everything I did to you when she's not there for you ... what am I to you?"

Why did he ask such question?

What is he? Can I say that he is a friend? but he is very much more than that. He has saved my life countless times, a real-life knight in shining armor. He's always there at my worst. He's like a family I don't have. If I mention them one by one, it will be too much on the list. My tongue felt rigid. It seemed that I was unable to answer his question, meanwhile he's waiting for my answer impatiently.

"You're my best friend." 

I didn't even know why it was the only word that came out of my mouth.

There was clear disappointment on his face. He lowered his head with a wry smile then raised his head and looked at me with teary eyes. "Right. Of course, you'd say that. Sorry for bragging nonsense. Just forget my words earlier, I was just joking."

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