shameless || rin matsuoka x reader

10

the walk back to the lodge is calm, silent. you spend the walk thinking about your conversation with rin, and how he had just let you blow up at him like that.

you want to hate him, but every time you look at him you just want to cry and hit him, yet not out of anger. out of hurt and frustration. the
frustration of not being able to hate him no matter how much you wish you could.

but either way, you were glad you had not said yes to being his friend. you couldn't do that to haruka and the others. you wouldn't do it. it would be a betrayal, whether they thought of it that way or not. what kind of loyal friend does that? not you.

your thoughts were interrupted completely abruptly when you stepped into the lodge, coming face to face with makoshiba, captain of the sumezuka swim team in front of the elevator.

great. just my fuckin' luck.

he was standing directly in front of the elevator, more than likely waiting for it to open so he could go up to his room.

you stand beside him, hoping he says nothing about rin and you walking off earlier.

the elevator dings and the doors open, the two of you stepping inside. you press your floor and lean against the wall at the back, while cap stands in front of you, again, directly in front of the doors.

"what happened with you and rin today?" the red haired boy questions, not bothering to turn around to face you.

"i don't really think that's any of your business." you snap, crossing your arms even though he couldn't see you.

"he's my teammate, i'm just trying to look out for him." he defends, crossing his own arms as well.

"so ask him about it. i don't give a shit what you're trying to do, it's not my problem." your tone is snappy, and you glare intensely at the back makoshiba's head.

"you really are feisty." he chuckles, finally turning around to look at you. he smiles.

"you don't want to know how "feisty" i can really be sometimes." you warn, taking a step closer to the ginger. the elevator dings, and the doors open once again, you shove your way past makoshiba, leaving him alone in the elevator.

as soon as you make it to your room you shower, getting dressed in a pair of comfy sweatpants and a loose cropped t-shirt.

you scroll through your phone for a whole, then flip on the tv. after wasting time for what seems like forever, you hear a knock at the door if you'd room.

you groan, standing up and grumbling profanities as you reach the door, swinging it open to reveal makoto, offering you a small smile, and a plastic container and fork.

"what's this?" you ask, stepping aside to let the green eyed boy into the room.

"i know you said not to worry about it, but you weren't really acting like yourself, or you would've come with us and said "fuck having a shower, let's party!"" makoto starts, causing you to shake your head in amusement at his impersonation of you. "so i brought you some food and thought maybe you'd wanna talk about it."

you shrug, taking the plastic container and fork from him. "thank you, mako. but i'm okay." you sure the olive haired boy, who gives you a disbelieving look.

"you're upset about rin, right? because you miss him?" he asks, watching you as you shovel a fork full of rice into your mouth.

you shrug again, sighing deeply. "i guess so." you mutter, taking another bite. "sometimes i just wish i could be as nice as you guys are." you chuckle, glancing up at makoto, who's expression was a little surprised.

"what do you mean?" he tilts his head, confusion taking over the surprise.

"well, i just mean that you guys are ready to forgive rin and be his friend, but i don't know how you guys can do that."

makoto nods in understanding, and offers a sympathetic smile. "bit think about it, our situations were different. sure, he's being a bit of a jerk right now, but we all knew that he was leaving...not to be rude. so of course you're feeling different about it than us." makoto says, ruffling your hair playfully.

"i guess you're right. but even if i were in your shoes, i'd still be pretty fuckin pissed." you frown, why do haru, mako and nagisa take it so well? you would've blown a casket by now.

"well, you've been hurt so much in the past, and rin's the only one who knows it all, am i right? you process things differently than we do, and it's not a bad thing. it just means you're more careful about who you trust. cautious, if anything." the way makoto explains it makes you feel so much less bothered by the fact that you can't seem to forgive rin yet. you find yourself smiling at your food.

"thanks mako. i feel a lot better now." you admit, continuing to eat your food. mako nods, a bright smile on his face.

"i'm just glad i could help at least a little bit. i hate seeing you down." makoto says, ruffling your hair a final time before standing up. "i think i'm gonna head back, gotta be up early for training tomorrow."

you nod, standing with him to walk him out of the room. "i'll see you in the morning, makoto! get back safely!"

makoto nods, giving you a wave. "i will."