shameless || rin matsuoka x reader

5

"y/n"

"shut up."

"y/n!"

"i don't want to hear it, matsuoka!"

"i just wanted to apologize! yeah i was pissed, but my mom would kill me if i said stuff like that to girl." rin grabbed your arm, finally catching up to you in your haste to walk away.

"so that's it? you're just gonna take it back now cause your mom wouldn't like it? it's only an apology because you're obligated?" you feel the rage boiling beneath the surface of your skin, but you won't lash out.

gou shouldn't have to deal with this. i shouldn't start fights with her brother. not when we're becoming friends.

"no-"

"yes, rin. that's what you just said, is it not?" you ask, finally spinning around to face him.

"besides! you have way more than just calling me a slut to apologize for!" you seethe, pulling your arm from out of his grasp and smacking his hand away from you.

"oh yeah, like what?" his eyes are wide, and his expression is aggravated.

"if you don't even comprehend your own actions then don't bother to apologize for them." you grit out, shaking your head in disappointment. "you left for australia without saying goodbye, i didn't even know til you were gone. you're an asshole to haru, nagisa and mako for no reason. you lost to haru once and decide to call it quits? not a big enough boy to handle a loss? get a grip."

"y/n." rins voice was dangerously low, warning almost. but you were on the same page. the both of you were on your last bit of patience and it was quickly running thin.

"what? don't give me that y/n shit. you don't get to take back your actions. you don't get to apologize unless you mean it. you know more than anyone that i've had enough fake apologies from people." you growl, growing angrier by the second. i don't need this from him. but it hurt. it hurt that after all this time he's even less mature than he used to be. it hurt that even now he's apologizing not because he means it, but because he's worried about his pride.

"you're right." rin starts, his expression softening as he takes a step closer to you. "you don't need any more fake apologies."

you step back. "get away from me."

for a moment rin looks hurt, but he continues anyway, taking a new step away. "i'm sorry i said that stuff back there."

you raise an eyebrow. that's it. that is it. he's apologizing for slut shaming you, and that is it. after all these years this is the apology you'd been waiting for. four years you waited and hoped this moment would really come, and it's disappointing.

"get out of my sight before i hit you again." you growl, ignoring the building ache in your chest as you hold back the tears.

he can't see me cry. i cant show him how vulnerable i feel.

rin's eyes widen, but the dangerous look in your eyes seems to be enough warning for him, because with one last shake of his head, he turns his back on you. muttering a "when did you become so aggressive?" before walking away from you.

you let out a frustration huff, pulling at your hair in hopes it would relieve some of your anger.

it didn't work.

"y/n?" makoto's voice pipes up, and you glance over to see him stepping out the door of the school.

you quickly turn your head away, discreetly drying the tears that had built up in your eyes. "what's up mako?" you ask, patting the spot next to you for him to sit.

he shuffles over, cautiously taking the spot beside you. "are you okay?" he asks quietly, his green eyes holding so much concern and worry that it almost overwhelmed you.

you nod, giving him a small smile. "yeah, i'm okay."

the smile he gives you in return is sad, and he shakes his head. "no you're not. what happened?" he questions, looking down at you with empathy.

when you don't respond he nudges you. "i know rin came out here to find you, so it's okay. so the others, but i won't tell them what happened if you don't want me to."

you shrug. "he wanted to apologize." is your simple response.

"and did he? what exactly did he want to apologize for?" makoto asks carefully, as if he were afraid to startle you.

"he did. he apologized for slut-shaming me, but-not for leaving me in the dust. not for being an asshole to you and the others. not for anything." you sigh deeply, hoping to relieve some of the building pain in your heart. "i wouldn't even call it an apology. he only said sorry cause his mom wouldn't like the mouth on him. so call it courtesy of his conscience."

makoto sighs, pulling you into him for a hug. "i'm sorry, y/n. i cant imagine how you're feeling."

you shrug. "i'm glad you can't." you admit quietly, feeling tears burning your eyes again. you blink, an attempt to get rid of them.

"why's that?"

"because that means you haven't felt this kind of hurt." you whimper, turning your face into makoto's shoulder, not wanting him to see your tears.

"you try to cat so tough, y/n. but you really want what's best for your friends." you can hear the smile in his voice, and sniffle, punching him lightly in the chest.

"of course i do. you guys are the reason i get out of bed in the morning." you tell him, honesty clear in your voice. "i would do anything to protect you guys, which is partially why i got so mad at rin. i don't want him being mean to you guys just he's a pathetic loser."

"he's a pathetic loser?" makoto questions, chuckling lightly beside you.

you grin into his shoulder, and pull back to glance up at him. "of course he is. he couldn't handle a loss to haru so he's a jerk to him."

"makoto takes your joke lightly, but he knows you're partially serious. "i mean, that is pretty pathetic. but maybe there's more to it than that."

you shrug, but don't dismiss the possibility. "you never know."