Quest Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

Faye's review

Title: Resist

Author: 420_feelings

Status: Ongoing

Focus: Everything

Title and Cover (4/5)

“Resist" is a great word that represents your story perfectly. Being able to represent a story in one word always impresses me, especially when it works as well as this one does. It represents both main characters' story arcs in different ways – making your title have layered meanings. Excellent.

I like the black and white. The chess game and woman is an interesting visual that illustrates the underlining theme of your story beautifully. I think you could give the title font a black outline so it doesn't bleed into the white parts of the background. Also the subtitle is a bit small and difficult to read.

Description (5/5)

This is a unique description. With two separate voices communicating their own short summary of what is to come – from their own personal perspectives. This was a cool way to hook your reader in whilst setting up the structure of the whole book. Of two separate point of views writing parallel to each other. Great work!

Grammar (1/5)

I noticed quite a few grammatical errors throughout. I commented on some as I read. However,  I also wanted to mention a few here so I can explain some corrections in more detail.

In the prologue you repeated the word “face" quite a few times. Five times altogether (four times in a three sentence long paragraph). This reads a bit repetitive. I think it would benefit your prologue if you took out a few.

I noticed that you missed out some punctuation here and there, especially commas. Sentences without the right punctuation lack rhythm and can hinder the flow for your reader. I would suggest reading through each chapter aloud and where you would naturally take a breath or a slight pause insert a comma or other appropriate punctuation.

Example: “They too after about five minutes move to the forest.”

Edit: “They too, after about five minutes, move to the forest.”

I added two commas within this example. Sectioning out that middle part is the correct thing to do here, for it is extra information – if it was taken straight out, the sentence would still make sense.

“Cold with furious.” Should be “Cold with fury.” – furious is an adjective you need a noun for this sentence to work. 

“Touch her and I'll cut your dick before feeding it to you.” – this sentence is a bit confusing to read. I think it would make more sense if you wrote – “Touch her and I'll cut your dick off and feed it to you.”

And the last point I wanted to mention in this section is that you tend to miss out small words in sentences. One in particular “the". I noticed a number of times that these words are just skipped, making your writing sound a bit choppy and unpolished.

Writing Style (3/5)

The prologue is short and snappy. I loved how you kicked things off with some intense action. You paced this quick prologue quite nicely, expressing the urgency incredibly well. I could feel how out of breath and stressed Carina was in such a small amount of words. Great skill shown there.

Swapping the point of view works so well within this story! What a great idea. It really plays on the theme that you suggest with the chess game picture on your cover. It’s as if both of your main characters are taking turns in a game of strategy. Very clever structure work there!