Shourjo's review

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Username: Pro_1611

Title: The Contingency

I am really proud of making this review for my school friend who's just started writing spy fiction. For starters, this novel is filled with conspiracies and political tensions rising in different parts of the globe, which is going to probably lead to chaos. There are till now only 5 chapters and a prologue out so nothing has picked up till now and the book is still laying out its ground with the different happenings taking place in different countries and how they can be interrelated or come to unite into a mayhem in the future.

I have been told to focus on Flow of writing, plot and characters so I would not babble on other points a lot and keep it around those three points mostly, in a way that is helpful to show the writer how his book is making an impression on readers, and how he can improve it even more to get a better reaction.

Plot

The plot is massive and mark my words when I say this! The planning and research that has gone into making this book is insane and it has numerous facets that show the humongous uprising of national tensions. There is action, there is depth, there is detail and there is the ethical side too for maintaining which some of the characters go unethical. They take illegal paths only to make everything right and how they undertake it is amazing to read and watch in your head.

Well that's what I have to say for the plot. You have no need to improve the plot, it's grand as it is, but what you can do is express it better and it's something that is to be undertaken after the book is complete, that is, in the editing phase, if at all, as this book is really just starting off and I don't know which points are important and which aren't but it is probably a useful note that I'm providing. This is highlighted in the second paragraph under Flow of writing.

Flow of writing
Overall, the chapters flow well. Each introduce a new tension and some interlink them. The pacing is absolutely well maintained. What can be improved is the paragraph spacing and I have stated it in numerous comments while reading your book, and I also found a few typos and let's be honest, we all have them. :)
Otherwise it's all fine.

Another thing that's worth mentioning is the amount of information you bring along with each chapter. Personally, I think it's well beyond what a normal reader would be able to keep in mind while reading the book. What they call an info dump. What I suggest is keep the info short and bring it out of actions of the characters so they find it out instead if stating it out to the readers who don't know anything yet. But that might not work with the story so another alternative is take more time to uncover all the details. What you have expanded over five chapters in terms of information can be stretched out into a few more. If small bits of information is supplied, you give the readers more time to cope up with it. And I think whatever you have provided till now is crucial to the plot, so you might consider doing that when the book is done. And if the information is really not that important and they are only side details, you may not and go ahead writing as you have been. But the readers won't know that the information is not important so they might reread and work themselves out. I hope you get my point.

Writing Style

I would also like to comment on the writing style. It's detailed, descriptive and paints the scenes perfectly. Though what I miss a little is the originality in the narration. The narrator's voice is not very strong and you just go ahead with the story, writing the details of the scenes and other stuff related to the book. Some might be totally fine with it, but I like it when the narrator shines through the story and has a uniqueness and character that's really prominent. I feel that kind of books to be most impactful. But you are just starting off and gaining the narrator's voice takes quite some time if one wants to attain one, so it's not something you should start training for right away. It'd come along with time. And it might not be easy so don't rush it. There are many authors who write in a flat manner where the story shines and the narrator is only doing the job, and that's totally fine too.

And a particular aspect that kind of threw me off were the translations. It's good to include them, but if you need to include them, do it uniformly and not in certain sections, that is, give translations to all of the vernaculars used in the dialogues. Also, sometimes you add narrator's words amidst a dialogue within first brackets so that the reader can understand the words. It's not how it works actually. You can explain what the character says after the dialogue is over. It disturbs the flow when you include them within dialogues.

That's all that I have to say for writing style.

Characters

The characters in this book also don't shine too much and it's the plot that drives them. We don't get an insight on each of them and get a particular flavour about their character, just how they need to be to fulfill a job. The main character Jacob, however as it's his perspective that we see the story drive from, is well written. His character is well established and family details are there, though tiny snippets, and his work life is also justified just fine. But the others don't really have a lot going on. And that's okay. It depends on which book the characters get the main spotlight and in which the plot gets. And yours is the latter, no doubt. What you can improve on is adding body language while describing your characters a little more. Make them come alive. Make them real. Facial expressions, hand gestures, all make their actions more prominent and helps us get a feel of them.

And that's about it for Characters, really.

Other parts of the book that I'm commenting on in short

The cover is not masterfully done and isn't professional, just something that is temporary for the time being and once you have gotten a feel of how Wattpad works, you can order covers here from the many graphic shops that are here. I get the feel of what you are going for with the backdrop being the cityscape, and it's well chosen too. The font is mediocore but gives a feel of formality and it reminds me of newspapers for some reason. Another thing is that your name is in the waters, which might be intentional but it doesn't pop. So there's that. It's just a temporary cover so I'm not going in deep to much.

The blurb is short but gives the facts. Upto readers to judge your book by it, really. But I'd advise you to increase the blurb in length after sometime when the story is a bit more complete. That'll increase the suspense and attract the readers more than the current version.

***
Hope you find this useful and good luck to you and your book! This would turn out great if everything is executed just right.



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