52 | noah

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I hardly notice the time passing as the next few days come and go

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I hardly notice the time passing as the next few days come and go.

I babysit Charlotte for a few nights to give my dad and Caroline some free time. I try my best to be present with Char, though I more than once catch myself lost in thought. During the week, I work at Dad's shop, working a good few hours to earn money to be able to support myself.

Soon enough, I'm able to put a down payment on an apartment in the building next to Mia and Thorne's, deciding I'm finally ready to settle down on my own and that Magnolia Heights isn't the worst place to do so.

Mia and Thorne return from their honeymoon to Hawaii, and I get a feeling that things are going to be a little different now that they're a married couple. My suspicions are confirmed when they return home with a German Shepherd puppy. Thorne declares the dog-owning as a practice run for kids, which makes Mia's face turn as white as a sheet.

On Tuesday, Mia, Thorne, Charlie, Violet, and my parents help me move into my apartment. All of the help isn't necessary, as I hardly own anything to my name, but I accept it gratefully.

Thursday, Asher decides to move back into town. He and Emmie announce that they're officially dating again. Emmie has decided to take a leave from New York to stay in town for a little while. Considering she's been working for Vogue for the past two years, the girl has enough money to support herself for a good while. However, she and Asher seem content to take things slow, picking up where they left off and enjoying life together.

When the weekend rolls around, Wells calls me and asks if I can accompany him on a date Saturday night. The weirdest part of the request is that Wells sounds nervous, as if he actually wants to impress the girl he's going out with. Knowing Wells, the whole dating concept is completely out of character for him. Wells is the kind of guy who is happy with a no-strings-attached kind of fling. I've never seen him nervous for a date. In fact, I don't think I've ever known him to even go on a date.

I agree to go, only because I'm kind of curious as to who the girl is that has managed to tame the infamous Wells Adams. I'm shocked to find out that the girl is Jess, as in Blake's best friend Jess. Apparently, the two hit it off at Mia and Thorne's wedding. I have to admit that I was pretty sure this thing between the two of them wouldn't last when I first heard about it. However, seeing the way Wells acts around Jess . . . I've never seen him so infatuated with a girl before. It almost reminds me of the way Thorne had described falling for Mia. More than that, I know exactly how Wells is feeling. After all, I went through the same thing when I fell for Blake Rhodes.

On Sunday, we're all surprised when Jay announces that he has proposed to his long-term girlfriend, Haley. It's as if life is moving fast, and I'm grateful to see my loved ones so happy. It's hard to wrap my head around all of the changes going on, yet I understand that's exactly what life is all about: one change after another.

I haven't seen Blake since the wedding, when I told her I was still in love with her. It's bordering on two weeks since that day now. It's not that I don't want to reach out to her, because I do. However, every time I reach for my phone to leave her a message or find myself walking toward my car to drive to her apartment, I remember the way she had walked away at the wedding. That had been her decision, to walk away without looking back. I know that I should take a hint and admit to myself that Blake no longer wants me as a part of her life. It's this thought that stops me from contacting her.

Actions have consequences. This is a lesson we first learn as children, usually by experience. Ever since I was a teenager, it's as if I never quite understood that whatever I do will have an equal reaction. If I destruct, something around me is bound to implode. If I take a detour on my path, the journey to reaching the destination will end up longer. Now that I've seen what I've done by leaving Blake behind three years ago, I've finally learned what it means to face consequences. I've lost her, seemingly for good, and I've never quite regretted an action I made more.

It has recently dawned on me that I'm alone now, and all because of my own doing. Of course, I still have my family and friends. But at the end of the day, I come home from work to an empty apartment. I could have had a life where I'd come home to the girl I love, but thanks to my own ruin that life has been taken from me. Now I have to deal with the loneliness that comes along with being alone.

Laying in bed, I lean over to turn the lamp on the bedside table off, losing myself in the silent darkness that surrounds me.

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a/n: my girlfriend is literally sleeping next to me yet i am missing her

a/n: my girlfriend is literally sleeping next to me yet i am missing her

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