Rising Star: Book 3 of The Orion Series

I'm Sorry

**TRIGGER WARNING** Depiction of suicide and self harm. Reader discretion is advised.

The void is calling

Balanced on the edge

Look out at the sea

Becoming a drifty

Do you see the reflection?

Does it hurt so much

Makes you want to vomit

Sometimes I just...

The void is calling

Balanced on the edge

Look out at the sea

Becoming a drifty

Want to punch the mirror

And use the shards

Against the soul

To cut you with

The void is calling

Balanced on the edge

Look out at the sea

Becoming the drifty

...it's not so bad

--The song Nothing is Something, lyrics by Orion Bauwens

Junior Year

It's a week into school. It's just like the start of every other year. Trying to get used to the work load. Trying to remember where my classrooms are. Trying to remember the names of my damn teachers. So far, everything is going as expected.

I'm awoken to the sound of sirens. Lots of them. And they're loud. When I open my eyes, my bedroom walls are splattered with the flashing blue, red, white, and orange lights of emergency vehicles. I look at the clock, utterly confused. It's a little past midnight. I have school tomorrow.

I go up on my knees and look out my window. There's police cars, ambulances, and even a firetruck. They're next door, in front of Stacy's house. Alarmed, I get out of bed and go out into the hallway.

My parents are coming out of their own room across the hallway. My mom is putting on her robe.

"What's going on?" I ask them, as though they should have some sort of answer.

"I don't know," my father says as we all head towards the stairs. "Hopefully it's just a gas leak or something, Stay here."

I frown. I wait until I hear the front door open, then I creep downstairs. By the time I'm kneeling up on the couch and peeking out of the curtains, my parents are running across the lawn towards Stacy's house. They're running because someone is being wheeled out of Stacy's house on a stretcher in a black body bag.

Someone is shrieking. I watch as my mother hugs whoever it is, and they both collapse on the porch. I'm on my feet and out the door, running barefoot across the lawn as fast as I can. My dad stops me before I reach Stacy's porch.

I fight him, struggling, trying to get closer. I see my mom holding Stacy's mom, and I see Stacy's dad, and I see Stacy's little brother, and they're all crying, and my mom is crying, and I get a sick knot in my stomach, and I think I know what's going on but I don't want to believe it.