Getting Kicked Out

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I sit in the room

My head spinning with thoughts

Where a fire once burned

Now only a churn

I feel empty and ill

As I sit by the sill

Everything's gone cold

I'm really not bold

And I feel I should care

Soul's got a tear

Sitting here, doorway to despair

--The song Doorway to Despair, lyrics by Orion Bauwens



It's Saturday afternoon, the next day.

"Mom--Dad. I'm not going to college."

Silence.

My mom laughs. "I'm sorry dear, it sounded like you said you weren't going to college."

I swallow. "I did."

More silence.

"You're joking, right?" my dad asks flatly.

"N-no."

"May I ask, why?"

"Because of the band. We're going professional."

More silence.

"No you're not," my dad says.

I can tell this is going to get ugly. I don't want it to get ugly. My parents and I have a really good relationship. We rarely fight.

"Yeah we are."

"Sure sweetie," my mom says dismissively, "after college."

"No--now."

Even more silence. So I break it.

"We signed with EMI Records today."

Kaboom.

"You what?" my mother shrieks.

"Well unsign!" my dad shouts.

"That's not how it works," I tell them, my voice getting louder. "I can't."

"You call them," my dad says, "you call them up right now, and--"

"Woah, guys," Charlotte says, running down the stairs. "What's going on?"

"I just got back from their office," I snap at them, ignoring my sister "that's where I've been all day! It's legally binding. I can't."

"Oh for fucks sake!" my mom screams now. The rest of the discussion we're all screaming at each other. "I raised you to be smarter!"

Charlotte looks at me in a panic. "What's going on?"

"Was a lawyer there?" my mother continues. "Please tell me you weren't stupid enough to sign your life away without legal representation!"

"They provided a lawyer on our behalf, yes."

"A lawyer?" Charlotte says, really panicked. "What--"

"Go to your room Charlotte!" my mom snaps at her.

Charlotte growls loudly but complies, stomping upstairs loudly.

"Are you fucking stupid?" my dad chimes in. "They provided a lawyer--"

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