Omnia Vincit Amor

XXXVIII.

"What, was I correct?" Brett asked as he was waiting for the man's answer.

"Not quite but it is close... She said she was pregnant with a child that is not mine..." Pyotr said, voice unreadable of any emotion.

"Well, you now have a reason, Pyotr..." Brett said as he looked at him.

"I do... But I do not want to talk about it for now. I just want to fall into slumber and never to be awakened again." Pyotr said, half joking and half serious.

"You better not think of it in this household." Brett warned.

"I know..." Pyotr said as he went in to hug Brett.

Brett hugged him back, it does not help that Tchaikovsky was almost Eddy's height. Still, Brett enjoyed the affections from his friend. He just hoped that he was not giving too much false hope to the great man. It was sad how the man himself did not see the greatness that lives inside of him.

Most days, Brett had to remind him. Remind Pyotr how his music will mark history even after his death and beyond. He will still be known after a hundred years and many, many more after that. It was sad that Pyotr did not believe it sometimes.

"Do you want me to send you to bed?" Brett asked, still engulfed in Pyotr's embrace.

"Yes, please." Pyotr said as he nuzzled his face against Brett's neck.

Brett was about to pick Pyotr up but he refused.

"No, do not carry me. I do not want you to injure your precious hands. You use those for a living!" Pyotr complained but it was too late since Brett was already carrying him to the bedroom. Pyotr frowned but hid a smile when his face was buried on Brett's neck.

"You say that but you love it, Ilyich." Brett said as he laid him down on the bed.

"That I do..." Pyotr said as he pulled Brett close to him. Brett resisted but pulled him in for a quick hug.

"Good night, Pyotr. I will see you tomorrow." Brett whispered as he got up from the bed.

"Good night, Kotik..." Pyotr said as he kissed Brett's forehead.

Brett did not speak of it but he heard a faint whisper of "I love you..." in the wind. He did not want to spark up hope, he was still in love with Edward, anyway.

September 17, 1878

I still think of him from time to time. The talk that he effortlessly brings out, the talent of his that he had achieved with practice and that love, unbelievably true yet the lies were present. I was the one who did not see it. I was stuck in love with him, I still am. No one has to know that in the broad daylight.

Pyotr is a good friend. A great man who deserves an even greater love. I want him to see that there is more people to fall in love with, he should never compete with the love that is still present in my heart. Quite pathetic, is it not?

I believe so, too.

I just wish I would be over him... I want to let him go properly. I already did but the feelings cannot seem to leave. No matter how painful what he had done, it does not matter. I still remember the day as though it was just yesterday.

He walked out to be a good man for someone else. He broke the news so quickly that I did not have enough time to process everything. I wanted to be mad at him for using me like that but I cannot bring myself to do so.

I wanted to mourn out that lost of mine. I am complete, I assure you that. I just find myself looking for the part that I had left in my hometown. They are doing great now. Franz grew up to be a stunning young man. Belle and Alexander did a great job raising him.

I am now thirty-eight, I still want children but I am afraid that I cannot raise the child alone properly. It hurts thinking that I do not have someone to pass my legacy on to. I hope that Franz will remember me so that he could tell his future children and grandchildren about it. I could only hope...

I am not afraid of growing old alone now. For most part I have accepted it... I am glad that I fulfilled my dream with music. I am glad to constantly find myself with what I loved ever since I was a child.

I wonder how he is doing with his three children. I heard a while back that he is still a soloist and constantly goes to nearby towns. He had a great income and I hope he is happy with his woman. I hope he does not regret anything. I know that he is happy.

I am happy for him, too.

The last time I saw him was at my father's funeral. That was three years ago... Wherever and whatever endeavors he might do, I still wish him the best. I still hopelessly and unconditionally cherish his entirety.