Omnia Vincit Amor

XXIX.

"Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur." -Publilius Syrus and Laberius

Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time.

Brett Yang was dressed in his best suit and stood next to the one and only Edward Chen. If only it were a different situation, Brett would tell everyone that they got married but that is not the case. Edward Chen was never in love with him.

Brett thought that he would recover from the hurt. It turned out that he might never even recover from the pain. It had been a month ever since Eddy's graduation. Yet, the words still echo in Brett's mind.

Did you really think that I would love someone like you?

It haunts Brett more than he could ever admit. He knows Eddy was speaking the truth. Why would anyone even love him? Every morning this is what he is reminded of and the cold and lonely nights get even colder. The body he got used to, that used to be next to him was now in someone else's bed and someone's else's company.

Still, he did not want anyone to see through this facade of his. He could pretend that this duet that Belle composed is not hurting him. He could pretend that he was completely fine and not broken inside when Eddy looks that beautiful but Brett could not reach out to him anymore.

He was not going to ruin his brother's day just because he could not forget the man that is playing with him or playing him. Nowadays, Brett cannot identify the difference.

The sonata that Belle composed sounded so romantic and full of passion. So, Brett cannot do anything but look at Eddy as he played. This might be the last time that he will be able to witness it. He takes in all that he can and you can call him selfish. He would not deny it.

He has his opportunity and he is only taking it.

As soon as the main wedding ceremony is finished, they went straight to the ballroom where the reception is being held. Wherein Brett was to give a speech to everyone about love. He was not bitter, no. He was quite delighted that he could give the best speech of his life later on.

The carriage ride was awkward since Brett was with Eddy and Irene. All Brett could see was their affections toward each other. She was beautiful, more beautiful than Brett will ever be in Eddy's eyes. Still, he tore his gaze away in order to ignore the blooming feeling of pain in his chest.

That used to be me.

Finally, after what seemed like a millennium, they were at the reception and sat down properly. Brett was about to give his best man speech to his brother and now sister-in-law. He clinked his knife against the glass gently to call everyone's attention.

"As you all know, I am Brett Yang and I am Alexander's brother. We are here today to have witnessed the matrimony of Alexander and Belle Yang. How good does it sound when the love of your life finally carries your last name?" Brett said, the people chuckling a bit.

"I grew up with Alexander, knowing that he will be an extraordinary man. I just want to tell you all that he is the man that he is today because of Belle Yang. She is what shaped him to be this great man and we all have to thank her for that." Brett said as the people applauded.

"Growing up, our mother told us that love conquers all things. There was a period where me and my brother stopped believing in it. It was the time when our mother died. It was so hard to get back on our feet when she passed away but here we are now. I can safely say that she is watching this wonderful wedding ceremony unravel at this very moment." A few tears were shed from people's eyes, including their father's

"We started believing in love again the moment Alexander told us that he wanted to marry Belle. As you all can feel, love is very present in our surroundings... Now, we all know that this is a big step in their lives. Some people are afraid to commit into these things but not Belle and Alexander...

The moment they entered their relationship, they already knew that their love was unconditional. Their love knows no bounds, age, perfections, imperfections, trials, ease, beauty, ugly and everything else in between. They love each other so much that they might as well live for each other too." Brett said as he stared at Eddy.

"So, I dedicate this toast for an eternity of their love and how they need not raconteurs in order to let their love leave history. Rejoice for the lovely newlyweds!" Brett said, raising his glass as they all clinked their glasses together.

Belle, Alexander, mama Chen and Papa Yang had tears run down their eyes because of how beautiful the speech was.

It was now time for the couple's first dance and Eddy composed this one for his sister and his now brother-in-law. They played the violin duet and Brett can say that this is the best performance he had ever done. This was the time he was giving it his all because he will never get the chance again.

Since he cannot tell Eddy his real feelings, he could only hope that this piece reflects everything that he could not say. Brett pulled away from the last few notes and immediately set his violin down. There were tears welling on his eyes but he did not let them fall.

He was still in love with Eddy. He wanted to fight for him, cry at his feet, beg him to come back, mourn the lost of his love but Brett cannot. He knows that he will only be turned away completely. Edward Chen was never in love with Brett Yang even if he gave his all.

Brett was not the type to leave celebrations this early but he does not want to see Eddy anymore. He might as well just rest now because his poor heart would not be able to handle it. He needed his peace of mind.

It is difficult to love and be wise at the same time, so Brett decided to choose. The love will never fade away but he can choose to be wise for now. Only God knows when his heart will betray him and play the martyr game again.

For his soul, he could only prepare for the worst.

June 19, 1862

The moment that I found myself playing that duet with him, I knew that ache was present. I never wrote about how he broke my heart, but I can write it down now. It is not an ache but an affliction. A pain that you could feel but could not identify the source.

Every single inch of me is on fire.

I do not know what to do anymore. My mind is a clutter that cannot be fixed, a permanent mess. My heart is torn to pieces and only I could mend it. I do not see why I should. No one takes a broken heart and thinks that they will get something good out of it.

My mother used to tell me that I am lovable. She used to get me that no one was not capable of being loved and loving. I believe that, I truly do. Sometimes, I lose faith because the man I love is with someone else now.

I can do nothing but watch from afar.

How could a love made of lies make me hold on so much? Who could have thought that he was the only one that had ever made me feel this way? What did I miss? Where could it have went if he did love me back? When will this feeling end? Why did it end up like this?

But oh God, I love him.

My prayers were answered but it was in a temporary bliss. I was foolish to believe that I could be loved by someone like him. It seems like my nightmare is my daily life now. I am still complete, I admit that.

But there is a missing space in my heart and in my bed. A body that used to belong to my bed and my hands. It turns out that it was all fabricated lies. Empty promises of love, an act of the greatest actor and I am the foolest of them all.

I do not know anymore. I never expected to fall apart but I did.

From now on, I could only dedicate my life to the one that I had always loved and will always love me back. Music. It is time to pursue a dream that I left.

I love him but live for the music I create.